Taboo
2006-09-27
Chapter 18
Victoria and Amy wrote the following chapter. To avoid confusion, parts written by Victoria will be in italics.
Amy:
My name is Amy Phillips. I am the 18-year-old daughter of Patrick and Victoria Phillips. I found this file on my Dad's computer when I was searching for clues to his mysterious black out. I got bored just watching him sleep and decided to add some stuff here. Won't that be fun when he finds it! Giggle! I haven't read the contents of this file. I won't do that unless he tells me I can read it. That would be an invasion of privacy. He respects mine, and I respect his. That's why I may repeat things on here that he may have already said. If there are contradictions, I'm right and he's wrong. Giggle! Has he told you I'm a genius? Giggle! I have other talents too. Some of which he doesn't know about yet. He hates it when I say that; he envisions awful teenager things that he would just as soon not think about. So I would say it even if it weren't true, just to drive him crazy.
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Giggle! Actually, my twin sister Cindi, who was killed in a car accident two months ago (sad face), was smarter than I am. No one knew that except her and me. She tried her best to hide it. She would do anything to make people happy. One time I noticed she missed questions on an exam that I knew she knew the answer to. She told me later, after much probing, that she did it so I could stay number one in class ranking. She knew how important it was to me. She never wanted people, even Mom and Dad, to know how smart she was. Sometimes she would deliberately do dumb things just to hide it. I miss her so much! Katie, my best friend now, helps a lot, but I still really miss Cindi. Katie's a lot like Cindi, even looks like her, so that helps a lot. I think that really hurts Daddy sometimes when he looks at her. Mom and Dad are talking about adopting Katie. That would be so neat!
My Dad and Mom are just the greatest parents in the world. All my friends are in love with my Daddy (so am I! Giggle!), and have adopted Mom as their Mom away from home.
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Mom is not around much — she travels a lot. She's a computer troubleshooter; just ask her, that's what she'll tell you. Dad and I know better. She thought she was pulling the wool over Dad's eyes for a long time, but he wasn't as fooled as she thinks he was. He's pretty smart. He has his own secrets too. I haven't figured it all out yet, but I think it's pretty much the same as Mom's secret. I think the whole thing is hilarious. Here all these years they've been keeping these big secrets from each other and eventually they're going to find out it's essentially the same secret! Parents! What's wrong with just telling each other? And me! I'm going to find it out anyway — I always figure these things out myself. Did I tell you I'm a genius?
I've been worried about Daddy for a while. I don't think he's ever dealt with Cindi's death. Not that I'm doing so well, but at least I have had a good cry (several of them actually — poor Daddy). I think he's just transferred those feelings for Cindi to Katie. I knew that one of these days this was all going to come around and bite him. I think it finally did Sunday.
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I guess I should tell you something important about me. I hope Daddy doesn't mind me telling this, but I doubt he has in mind just anyone reading this. You see, Cindi and I, and now Katie, have always had this special thing. We could read emotions really well. I always knew how she was feeling, and she always knew how I was feeling. We could do it with our parents also. We can also tell where the other one is, no matter how far away. The location thing works with Mom and Dad also but not as well. We could just feel it in our minds. They think we could just do the emotion thing with them sometimes; we've never told them how well we could do it with them. We didn't want to freak them out. It gets somewhat interesting sometimes when they are. . . um.
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. . fooling around. Those emotions can be pretty overwhelming for a 18-year-old girl! Maybe one of these days I'll gross Daddy out by letting him know how. . . excited. . . Cindi and I would get sometimes! Giggle! Course, maybe it wouldn't gross him out. Maybe I won't think about that. I don't know how I'd feel about that (yes I do, I just don't want to think about it! Giggle!). Not that we knew what it all meant. We used to sneak over to the door of their bedroom and watch. Why not? If we're going to feel the emotions, we might as well watch! Dad caught Katie and me the other day, but he didn't tell Mom.
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He is so cool! What would really make them freak out is if they knew that I'm getting better at this. Sometimes I swear I can read their minds. I know what they are thinking before they say it. I try to control that. The way Daddy looks at Katie sometimes, I do not think I want to know what he is thinking! Giggle!
Anyway, where I was going with this is that Daddy has never dealt with Cindi's death. I can see the pain in his eyes sometimes, even often, and I can read in his emotions that he still hurts. I think that's what's going on now. His mind is so mixed up and confused, I can hardly make sense out of his emotions. I can feel tremendous guilt, and I know that somehow it seems to be connected with Cindi and me. I don't know why. Cindi's death was an accident. How could that be his fault? I don't know what he has to feel guilty about with me. Somehow, Mom is involved in his concerns too. That one has to do with fear. Is he afraid she's in danger? Surely, he can't be afraid she would leave him, no matter what the problem is.
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That would never happen. Even with my reading him, I have no answers.
Whatever happened to him started Saturday night when we were at my grandparent's house for the birthday celebrations. Up to that time, he was fine. I noticed all of a sudden that he was upset about something. I teased him about dropping his wineglass and asked him why he was upset. Boy, did he take my head off! He has never talked to me like that before. I would've been really mad and hurt if I hadn't been able to feel that he was really hurting. The next day he was even worse. He yelled at me again, but I was determined not to let it get to me. Then he yelled at Katie! That really got Mom worried. Daddy would never be mean to Katie. We decided to give them our presents to try to cheer him up and then he had to take a phone call. He said it wasn't important, but he was lying. Then he just got really upset when I gave him Cindi's present.
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Maybe I shouldn't have done that, but I know she wanted him to have it. She spent a lot of time getting it just right. He went into the office, and that's when the emotions coming out of his mind got really scary. About then is when he collapsed. Mom and I got him to the bed. When he still hadn't responded by the next day, Mom got worried.
"Amy, I think we should call a doctor. I don't like this," she said. I didn't think it was a good idea to call just a regular doctor. I don't know what Dad's secret is, but if it's like Mom's, as I suspect, he would not want to see just a regular doctor.
"Mom, I'll take care of that. You stay here with him. I think he would want you to be close to him. " That wasn't much of a risk; I knew she didn't want to leave him anyway. She and Katie could tend to him while I could figure something out.
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As I left the room, I picked up a fountain pen that was in his shirt. Nobody paid any attention to me.
I had noticed something odd about that pen. He had only been carrying it the last few weeks. Suddenly it appeared along with his favorite one. And it looked different. On a hunch, I picked it up, went into the other room, and started playing with it. It didn't take me long to figure out this was not just a fountain pen. It did some other things too. It seemed to be a cell phone of some kind. I punched speed dial one and it vibrated in my hand. Ok, that was Daddy's number. I managed to get into an address book of some kind. The entries seemed to be coded, but it didn't take me long to find one that looked like my number. I set my cell phone on vibrate, and then hit that speed dial number.
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Yep, my phone went off. Ok. I could tell then that Dad was number one, Mom was number three, I was number four, and Katie was number five. So, who was number two? He started carrying this after Cindi died, so it couldn't be her. So, if Dad was number one, and he was out of commission, and I needed to get him a doctor, who else better to go to than whoever was number two? Did I tell you I was a genius? Giggle! Here goes nothing. I dialed number two. I hope I was doing the right thing. I heard the phone being answered.
"Yes?" a soft-spoken polite female voice spoke.
"Please don't hang up. My name is Amy Phillips. . . "
"Please hold on," she interrupted. I heard a series of clicks, and then a male voice answered.
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"This is Captain Jensen. How may I help you?"
"Please," I repeated, "don't hang up. I found this number and my Dad needs help. " I was getting a little flustered now and didn't give them all the information I should have.
"How did you get this number, young lady?" He asked firmly.
"I found it listed in a fountain pen phone like thingy that my Dad had. He's unconscious and needs a doctor. "
"How did you figure out how to use it, and why did you dial this number, young lady?" I wish he would quit calling me that!
"It was pretty easy to figure out, and I figured out all the other numbers, and since he was number one, I figured out I wanted to talk to the number two guy. That's you. And don't you dare call me young lady again! And how come you've never asked me who my Dad is?" I was beginning to wonder about this guy.
He chuckled softly. "You must be Amy. I don't have to ask who your Dad is. The fact that you dialed this number means he could only be one person. Patrick told me you were very smart.
So far, you're doing fine. We have a problem, though. An authorization code is normally used. Since I have never talked to you before, I don't know your voice. I'm not sure if you are who you really say you are.
"Fine. If you insist on going by the book, the authorization code is Alpha Tango seven three four six X-ray. I believe you now would repeat that back to me. However, let's cut the crap and I'll tell you that your authorization code is Delta four seven three Charley. Can we get on with the business of getting help for my Dad now?"
There was a long silence.
"How do you know those codes, young. . . er, Amy?" He sounded surprised.
"I don't know.
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I've never heard them before. I just knew them now. I guess they're right, huh?" I felt a little sorry for him. He didn't know how to deal with a smart-ass 18-year-old genius. I wondered if it would make him feel better that I don't know how to deal with me most of the time either!
"Are you at home right now? Maybe I should speak to Victoria. " He still was not comfortable dealing with a teenager. I felt a little better that he knew Mom's name.
"I wouldn't suggest that. Mom doesn't know anything about this part of Dad's life. I don't think Dad wants her too, either. She probably won't believe you. "
"And what do you know about 'this part of your Dad's life', Amy?" He asked.
"I know enough to figure out this isn't a normal pen. I know enough to figure out how to use it. I know enough to not call a regular doctor.
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I know enough to figure out you're the one to call and how to do it. I'm afraid you are stuck with the teenage smart-ass kid. Sorry. "
For the first time, he laughed. "You are amazing, Amy. No wonder your father is so proud of you. There will be a doctor there in 18 minutes. And Amy. . . forget all about this number and conversation. "
"Darn. I sure wish I could get this stupid number to work. All I get is a busy signal!" I giggled.
He laughed and hung up.
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I had done what I could. I hoped Captain Jensen was one of the good guys. Now it was time to go back and see if I could help Daddy.
Victoria:
My name is Victoria Phillips. Patrick Phillips is my husband of 18 years. Like Amy, I haven't read what Patrick has written. Amy and I have also agreed not to read what each one of us has written. At least, that is the plan. I wouldn't put it past Amy to sneak in and read what I wrote later. She is trustworthy, just too curious for her own good sometimes. So, Amy, if you're reading this, I love you honey, and you're a brat! <I am not! Oops!>
I was glad that Amy offered to help by calling a doctor. I really didn't want to leave my husband's side. Patrick and I have known each other for 18 years, and except for one brief weekend shortly after we met, I have never been with anyone else. We knew almost immediately that we were meant to be together. The brief weekend consisted of my last fling with my old boyfriend and Patrick's roommate, while Samantha, Robert's girlfriend, was seducing Patrick.
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Robert and I wanted one last time together, for old times sake, and I knew Patrick had always been madly in love with Samantha. I wanted him to have one time with her before we became exclusive. Both Samantha and Robert were all for the idea. Poor Patrick — everyone knew about this but him. He didn't find out the truth until later when he confessed his guilt to me.
Patrick is everything to me. He's my husband, but even after 18 years, he's still my lover. He's my soul mate. I can't imagine life without him, or with another. Both of us still get breathless when the other walks in the room. That was how I knew something was wrong Saturday night. It is the first time in my memory that he was not ready and willing to make love to me, to drive me crazy. He is also my rock. I don't know how I would've survived when Cindi died without him there to help me through it. It was almost unbearable the first time I went through it alone; I wouldn't have been able to go through it with Cindi without his strength.
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In some ways, I think Amy and I did him a huge disservice by relying on him so much during that time. He spent so much time helping us that he never had a chance to grieve himself; he was too busy being strong for us.
After his collapse, Amy told me she knew something was wrong Saturday night.
Something happened that night at my parents' house that began this whole process of out-of-control grieving. Katie did not notice, as she was having some problems of her own. I haven't even tried to deal with that yet; she is reluctant to talk about it, partially because she is afraid after her Daddy yelled at her, but mostly because she says Daddy comes first. Thank you, Katie.
As I said, Patrick is my rock. He is such a calming influence on me. It is so comforting, with the hectic job I have, to come home to the world's biggest yuppie. He works in a hospital, so calm, collected, with such a structured life, nothing ever exciting. He was in some branch of law enforcement before we met. Somehow, I just can't see him in a job even that exciting. I'm not demeaning him. He's the world's sweetest person and deserves calmness and stability.
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It's for that reason that I feel so sorry for him with what he's going through now. He's always there for us and now we seem to be able to do nothing for him when he needs us.
I've always tried to keep secret from Patrick what I really do. Somehow, the time has just never seemed right to tell him that his loving wife is actually a "consultant" on semi-permanent loan to an anti-terrorist division of the government that is so secret it doesn't even have a name from a branch of the intelligence community that is so secret it doesn't even have a name. Sometimes I don't have a name either, or at least not the one he knows me by. "Consultant" is a fancy term for the one that handles all dangerous situations and people that there isn't a strong enough legal case to prosecute, but that can't wait to build such a case. Usually it is as exciting as computer troubleshooting, which I really do, but sometimes it gets really interesting. Occasionally, dangerous. Not that I could tell him that anyway. I'm only writing this now because sometimes I just have to let go and talk about it to someone. Writing it out is safer than telling someone. This way I get it out of my system. I'll go back and erase this later. I have detected some suspicion on his part that he realizes I am not just the computer geek I pretend to be. I hope he doesn't think I am hiding my life from him because I'm a prostitute or something like that.
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It would be easy to come to that conclusion, as many times as I have had to lie to him. That is what hurts the most, not being able to be honest and tell the love of my life the truth.
Even if I could tell him what I do, the next obvious question would be why. As much as I love Patrick, I'm not sure I could or would want to answer that question. The memories of what shaped me to this way of life in my early teens are still too painful to even think about. I was a very wild young girl from about 18 to 18 years old. My parents think I lived in foster homes during that time. Sure, if foster homes are defined as the streets. Those years defined what I am today, why I do what I do. It only takes once watching a very special young girl. . . well; I swore that I would do everything in my power to try to keep my babies from ever being hurt again. I failed with Cindi, and I will live with that scar for the rest of my life. I'm the one that should feel guilty, not him.
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That's one of the things Amy is able to feel in his troubled emotions right now; guilt, somehow connected with Cindi and Amy, and fear connected with me.
Amy, honey, if you are reading this, please don't read beyond this point. This is stuff you really do not need to know about, sweetie. Trust Mommy on this.
Two things saved my life. The first was a very kind, gentle middle-aged man who showed me what love was all about. No, he didn't molest me. I seduced him when I was 18 He resisted for a long time, but once I discovered that a man brought to a certain point while he is asleep is helpless to resist when he wakes up, he never stood a chance. I gave him desperately needed love, and he taught me how to love. I hated him for a brief time when I found out he was dying, but then we gave each other the best six months of either of our lives. Until I met Patrick, that is. I know Patrick is confused and does not understand when I let him continue, even encouraged him, with Cindi and encouraged him to help Katie, but I understand completely how healing an older man's touch, especially one like my Patrick, can help a troubled young girl. I fully expect he will also be Amy's first some day, probably soon. Those two are way too close and love each other way too much for her to want anyone else. I can't think of anyone better to teach her what love is and, just as important, how to make love and be loved.
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The only question is which one of them will make the first move. She may be 30 before it happens! They both seem to walk on eggs around each other on this subject. It's fun to watch; they're both so sweet!
The other thing that saved me was my wonderful adopted parents. Any time I refer to my parents, I am referring to them.
Amy is back with the doctor. I'll write more in this later if I have a chance. At least until I decide to erase it all. I'm not sure I want even Patrick to read this stuff.
Amy:
The doctor arrived right on time. He was an older gentleman and seemed to know my Dad, and his history, very well. After checking him out, he ran some kind of portable scanning device over his head. I have never seen one of those on TV. He compared it to some scan tracings he brought with him. Previous brain scans? Daddy, what do you do for a living, really? Later, he sat down with Mom and me to talk to us about Dad. He wouldn't let Katie sit in because she is not listed officially as a member of the family.
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Wow! Was she mad! I have never seen Katie that mad before. Remind me never to get her mad at me! The doctor said that as far as he could tell, Dad had suffered multiple emotional, traumatic events very close together and he had just emotionally shut down. He would probably just stay that way until his brain sorted them out and figured out how to deal with them. That is what scares me. His brain is so messed up right now, emotionally, that I wasn't sure how that was going to happen. He didn't seem to be working on it right now. I tried to act cool about what he said, to keep from scaring Mom, but I'm not a good actor and Mom is pretty smart. I'm so glad Katie was not in there. Now we have to calm down and then figure out something to tell her. Right. Like she hasn't already read our emotions. I think I'm learning what Daddy has known for a little while now — trying to lie to someone who reads your emotions is pretty useless. Rats! It's not much fun being on the receiving end of problems with this reading stuff!
I asked Mom to go talk to Katie. I told her Katie would be able to read my face too well. I just wanted her out of the room.
I decided to try something I swore I would never do; try to read my Daddy's mind without him being able to tell I was doing it. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what was there, but if I could help him, I would take his pain. I will write more later.
Well, that was a big waste of time. I'm not very good at this mind-reading stuff anyway, at least not yet. His mind was so jumbled up and confused, I couldn't tell much more than I already knew from the emotions. For some reason he is overcome with guilt about Cindi and me. Why Cindi? It was a car accident. . . wasn't it? Could Cindi's accident have been not an accident? Why would the police not know that? Wait — the phone call Sunday! That voice could have been Chief Haskin! I know Daddy was lying when he said it wasn't important. But why would Daddy feel responsible / guilty? Ah, because of his big secret. Maybe he felt he should have /could have protected us. He did say he had people following us. He thinks he is so smart with that 'make Amy mad so she will stop asking questions and go away' act.
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Like I can't see through that! Ok, let's assume that is it with Cindi. God, I hope I'm wrong! That will really tear Mom and Dad up. Not to mention the bloodbath that is going to follow if I know them the way I do. They had better not even try to keep me out of it. That was my Cindi! Ok, calm down. This is still just speculation. Ok, so we go with that for now. Then why would he feel guilty about me. What has happened with me? Oh, shit! Oops! Daddy thinks I don't know or say those words. I meant shucky durn golly gee willikers! My illness? Surely not! Can't think of anything else. Now where does Mom fit in? It doesn't feel like he is scared for Mom's life. More like just scared for them. Why? She's crazy about him, and he about her. I can't even think of anything that could break them apart. When did all this start? Saturday night when we were looking at the pictures of Mom.
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And he's scared about Mom. I first noticed he was upset when he dropped his wineglass. He dropped his wineglass when looking at the pictures. Which picture? Let's see. . . The original picture of Mom and her. . . brother??? Same birthday? Holy shit! And I ain't apologizing this time! That's not possible! Is it? Oh, man, if that's it, I have GOT to be there when he tells Mom to see the look on her face! That would be priceless. But. . . surely he doesn't think that after 18 years Mom would leave him just due to a little thing like she is married to her. .
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. twin. . . brother? She wouldn't. Even if she would, she'd have to deal with me first! But he may not realize that in his state of mind. I really like being a genius, but I really hope I'm wrong on this. God, Cindi. . . I know dead is dead, but man, I hope you didn't go like that. If Dad thinks Mom goes crazy when someone hurts her babies, he ain't seen what a smart-ass 18 year old genius who just happens to be able to kick her Mom's ass in a fight (he doesn't know about that yet; and we have seen what she can do!) is going to do about someone murdering her twin sister! Wonderful. The genius figures it out — maybe. So, how does that help Daddy? I'm going to bed. I wish Cindi were here.
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She figured out how to save me when I was dying. I'm sure she would have been able to help Daddy.
No change in Daddy's condition today. I'm really getting worried. I love you Daddy, please don't leave me! I have to go — I have to go cry, and everyone knows Amy does not cry, so I got to go hide. Oh, God, Mommy and me and Katie can't survive without Daddy!
I'm back. Mom is becoming a basket case. I actually saw her cry this morning. Mom never cries. I have to find a way to help her and Daddy. I had the weirdest dream last night. It was very clear and realistic. Daddy and Cindi were there. Daddy was in the same condition he's in now. Cindi gave me very detailed instructions on how to wake him up.
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I just wish it were that simple. The instructions were rather embarrassing. Especially with your Daddy! Giggle! Not that I have not thought about that! Giggle! Cindi said something really weird in the dream. She said, "All you had to do is ask. " What does that mean? Oh well; it's just a dream, right?
Ok, something weird is going on here. I had the same dream again last night. About Daddy and Cindi and how to wake him up. It was so realistic. At one point in the dream, Cindi and I were cuddled up on the bed together, naked. How embarrassing! I mean, it's not as if Cindi and I were never cuddled together naked. Sometimes when Mom and Dad would get us so. . . um. .
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. you know. I mean, it's not like Cindi and I ever actually did anything together. I mean, we just couldn't. It would be too much like doing it with yourself, you know? But. . . well, sometimes we would. . . um. . . do ourselves. .
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. you know what I mean. . . right next to each other. It was better that way. But not with our Daddy and Mommy watching and naked too like in the dream, for heavens sake! I just have this really strong feeling that this is the way to help Daddy. But how can Cindi be showing me this? She's, like, dead, you know? I know she could do things we didn't know about. Could she have planted this in my brain for use sometime when I needed it?
Ok, three nights in a row, more real each time. I've got to talk to Mom about this. Oh, God, this is way too weird! I am really uncomfortable with this. But if it will help Daddy. . .
Victoria:
Amy came in to the bedroom this morning, looking as uncomfortable as I've ever seen her.
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Under different circumstances, it would've been hilariously funny. The little smart aleck genius not sure of herself, and embarrassed? I hope I get to see this again. When she told me her plan, I could see why she was embarrassed. Poor little girl. She doesn't realize that I already know how she feels about her dad. Yeah. . . that way. I don't think she even realizes it yet. It doesn't bother me anyway, but I really don't care what she has to do if it will bring Patrick back.
"Mom? Can I talk to you a minute? I think I know a way to help Daddy. "
"Amy? That's wonderful! Tell me how. "
"Well. .
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. it's kind of weird. You see, I've been having these really realistic dreams about Cindi and Daddy and. . . well, they're really explicit and. . . God, mom, it's so embarrassing but I would do anything to bring Daddy back!" she half sobbed.
"It's ok Amy. "
"Mom? Do you love me?"
"You know I do, sweetheart. "
"Mom? Do you love me? Please, I have to hear you say it. "
Suddenly, it all flooded into my mind. What had happened in the hospital room. I knew what this was.
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"Yes, Amy, I love you more than life itself. As much as I love your Dad. "
"Mom? Do you trust me?"
"With my life, sweetheart. And with your Dad's. "
"Thank you. One more time, Mom, you love me and trust me. " She appeared to be concentrating.
" Mom, we have to take all of our clothes off," she whispered. "Then, we have to take all of Dad's clothes off. And get into bed on either side of him. " I suddenly realized I was just hearing Amy in my mind. When did that start? Then we were both cuddled up to him.
"Mom, please forgive me, but I have to prepare him for you. He will only initially respond to me. When I tell you, you must show him how much you love him.
I just can't do that part. "
"Sweetheart, if you have to do it all, it's ok. Really. Your Dad and I will understand. "
"I just can't, Mom. We have to try this way first. " She looked at me with calm, but pleading eyes. Then she started kissing him. Gently, softly, tenderly. It was passionate, but not overly sexual. Erotic. Sensual. It was the most touching and beautiful thing I have ever seen. She stroked his hair, kissed his neck, gently stroked his chest, and whispered into his ear. After a few minutes, I noticed a change in the room.
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Everything was bathed in a bright, deep blue light, with a bright deep blue glow surrounding Patrick, Amy and myself. My heart leaped into my throat. I recognized this! ' Cindi? Cindi? Oh, please let it be so,’ my mind begged. Poor Amy had her eyes closed, I think so she could not see the effect she was having on his body. Soon she took my hand and laid it on him. I stroked him softly, making him even harder. Then, it began to happen. His eyelids fluttered. He was breathing harder. He moaned. Now it was a bright, deep blue and bright, deep green glow, mixing, yet separate.
Amy just cuddled up to him and whispered "Now, Mom!"
I made love to my husband as I had never done before. I poured every ounce of love into him that I ever could. Amy watched, eyes big as saucers. She had a worried look on her face, as if it would not be enough because she had backed out and let me finish.
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Then Katie moved over to the bed from the other side of the room, fascinated by what she was seeing. I saw her eyes seem to glaze over and her head tilted to one side. She seemed to be concentrating. Suddenly, yellow tendrils flowed from her into the glow surrounding Amy, Patrick and myself. The blue and green glow moved to envelope her also. Amy looked up in surprise. I could feel him responding. Finally, as he and I exploded into an orgasm, I heard him cry out and I felt his arms wrap around me and hold me tight. Then his eyes opened and he gave a sad little smile. I smiled back and Amy and Katie's smiles lit up the room. The glows faded out.
My darling husband looked around, and saw Amy lying against him, naked, holding him tight. I smiled softly at the look of panic that crossed his face.
"Amy, I'm sorry! I am so sorry!" Amy put her finger across his lips.
"Shh Daddy, it's ok.
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It was necessary. It's ok," she reassured him.
"Did I. . . did we. . . ?" He asked, chagrined.
"No, Daddy, we didn't," She assured him. Then she gave him a teasing 'Amy' grin. "Not yet!" She whispered. "But the night is still young!" We all laughed at his panic-stricken face.
"I love you all," he whispered, and then he started crying.
This ends the section written by Amy and Victoria.
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The following is by Patrick once again.
I slowly woke up, feeling disoriented. I was having a wonderful dream, about Victoria, Cindi, Amy, and Katie, all wrapped together in wonderful love. I wondered if my heart could take it! I realized, as I came more awake, that I was indeed wrapped up in love, having just had an orgasm. I sighed, then opened my eyes and found myself cuddled up to Victoria. Heavenly! Then I realized that Amy was cuddled up to my other side, smiling at me. Naked. Oh no! Please! Not Amy!
"Amy, I'm sorry! I am so sorry!" Amy put her finger across my lips.
"Shh Daddy, it's ok. It was necessary. It's ok," she reassured me.
"Did I. . . did we.
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. . ?" I asked, panic-stricken.
"No, Daddy, we didn't," She assured me. Then she gave me a teasing 'Amy' grin. "Not yet!" She whispered. "But the night is still young!" Victoria, Amy and Katie all laughed at me as I blushed.
"I love you all," I whispered. Then I remembered everything that had happened before I blacked out. Oh, God! I couldn't help it. I started crying.
They all looked at me, concerned, and cuddled up to me, holding me close. I couldn't help it. I sobbed brokenly against them for what seemed like hours. All the pain, the sadness, the sorrow that I had never dealt with after the death of Cindi; it all came pouring out.
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I couldn't stop it. Amy held me, whispering in my ear "I know, Daddy. I know. Let it go Daddy. I understand. I love you. Always. Remember. No matter what. I love you. "
"Oh, Amy, I only wish that would be true! You have no idea what I have to tell you, my precious little girl. " I sobbed. She just held me.
"Victoria, I love you so much! I'm going to miss you so much, I don't know if I can stand it!" I cried.
"Patrick, my love, why would you miss me? I am not going anywhere, now or ever.
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I love you, now and forever!"
"I only wish that were true, my love. The things I must tell you. You will hate me!" My heart was breaking.
"Mom. Katie. Can you give me a few minutes alone with Daddy? Please. Trust me. " Amy looked at them, her eyes begging them.
After they left the room, Amy looked at me, smiling gently.
"Ok, Dad, what is so awful that we will stop loving you? Do you really think that would ever happen?" She smiled encouragingly.
"Oh, Amy, you have no idea. " I had no idea how or where to begin. She sensed my confusion.
"Ok, Dad, you are upset and confused. Let me help you.
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I will tell you. First, Captain Jensen sends his regards. You are going to have to deal with him soon. I think he is rather. . . upset about a conversation I had with him. I'm afraid I didn't follow protocol. " She giggled as she held up her hand to stop me. "Don't worry; your secret is safe with me. Mom knows nothing. Ok, let's see what is so terrible. First, Cindi's accident was no accident. She was murdered. I am sure you will tell me how.
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My illness was not an accident. That was attempted murder. You feel responsible for not stopping either one. Daddy, I know this is going to destroy your image of me, but that is bullshit!" She smiled at my shock at her use of a bad word. "Yeah, I just learned that word ten minutes ago. I don't know what it means, but maybe you can explain it to me!" She smiled as I laughed at her. "Both of those incidents happened before you activated your protection of us, Alpha Tango seven three four six X-ray, so why would you be responsible?" She smiled at my shocked look. "Yeah, that was about Captain Jensen's reaction too. I think he wants to talk to you about that. Don't ask me how I know that — I have no idea. I needed to know it, so I did. Don't bother to change it; I know I will not recall it after today. Did you know Mom feels just as guilty as you do about Cindi's death — that she should have protected her? She feels that even though she doesn't know yet it wasn't an accident. You're going to have to help her through that. Bear in mind you're going to have to figure out an explanation for your guilt for her; how a hospital employee should have been able to protect his daughter.
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Not saying you shouldn't tell her; you need to get this stupid guilt out of your system. Ok, now the biggie. Do you really think Mom is going to stop loving you or divorce you just because you tell her she's married to her own twin brother? Something neither of you knew, nor anybody outside this room has to ever know? Does it change your love for each other? I know it doesn't mean anything to me. I am, however, really looking forward to seeing the look on her face when you tell her!" She giggled. "So, Daddy, how am I doing so far?" She smiled at my stunned look. "I thought I had it about right. Daddy," she said seriously, "despite my trying to cheer you up, I am very upset about Cindi. You are going to have to move fast if you plan to kill the people responsible for that before Mom or myself, or even Katie gets to them first. Don't even think about excluding us from what you're going to do. We're a family, albeit a rather strange one, and they have messed with my — our - family. Heads will roll. "
"Amy," I whispered in shock, "how do you know all this? How can you know?"
"Hey," she said with a cheerfulness I knew she did not feel, "I'm a genius, remember? Now, you had better get yourself together, because you have a very upset, very loving wife, and a very upset, very scared little girl out there to deal with. Call us when you are ready to talk. " She got up and walked out of the room.
Did I wake up in some type of time warp? When did my little girl grow up so much? Was she 13, going on 30? If nothing else, these people would pay for taking my little girls childhood away from her.
She shouldn't have to be playing the parent at 18 to her messed up Dad. Somehow, I would figure a way to make it up to this remarkable girl.
After I pulled myself together, I called all three of them in to talk. I told them how Cindi's accident was not an accident, how she had been murdered. I held them, and cried with them as they dealt with that. Then I told them about the attempted murder of Amy. That actually did not seem to surprise Victoria as much, although she tried to hide it. With her connections with anti-terrorism and what they had to know about Bioterrorism (of course, I was not supposed to know anything about those connections!), she had recognized the unusual nature of Amy's illness. I think she just had not carried it out that far yet. I was glad I was on her list of loved ones. I really did not like the look in her eyes as I told her all this. The look in Amy's eyes, now that she didn't have to cheer me up or worry about making me go nuts again, scared me as much if not more. Katie just looked plain pissed off. I had never noticed the flecks of yellow in her eyes before. I didn't know enough about her yet to read her expressions, but with everything she had been through in her life, I'm sure she was just looking for an excuse to kick some major ass.
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For not the first time, I decided these three were going to give me some real trouble in the future. Then I saw Amy grin as I started to dance around the subject of Victoria's and my relationship.
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Dad, just get to it, will you? Good grief, she's a big girl; she can take it. Besides, I can't stand the suspense anymore!" She giggled. Thanks, Amy. Get me in trouble.
"So, how is it Amy knows what you have to tell me before I do?" Victoria raised her eyebrows and looked at me dangerously.
"Hey, it's not my fault. The little smart-ass genius figured it out herself. Would you do something about getting some control of your daughter?" I demanded.
So, I told her. Amy was right. It was priceless to watch. Victoria's eyes got real big. She put her hand up to her open mouth in shock.
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Then she started laughing. She laughed so hard she cried. Finally, she got serious.
"Patrick, you goofball, did you really think I would leave you, divorce you over that? No wonder we get along so well. Hell, I just wish we had known before. Think of all the extra excitement we could have had if we'd known we were having kinky, perverted sex!" She giggled like a teenager. Not her too!
"Mom!" Amy was shocked. Then she got an impish look on her face. "Since you and Daddy are committing incest, does that mean he and I can fool around too? Hey. Brother / sister, father / daughter, what's the difference?" She squealed as we both swatted her butt. "And does this mean I am my own first cousin? And what does that make Katie when we adopt her?" She could hardly talk, she was giggling so hard. I noticed that Katie was the only one not laughing. I pulled her over on my lap.
"Hey, Little One, I'm sorry I yelled at you when you came to talk to me the other day. You have something to tell us, don't you?" I smiled at her warmly, trying to put her at ease.
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She was shaking like a leaf. I did not know what she was going to say, but what ever it was, it was very serious to her.
"Um. . . Mom? Dad? I don't know how to say this. . . "
"Just spit it out, Little One. That is usually the best way. We will clean it up later if you say it wrong. We love you, Katie. Nothing you say is going to change that. " Amy reached over and held her hand.
She sighed.
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"You know that picture we saw the other day, of you and Mom when you were little?" We all nodded. "Well. . . the man and woman in that picture. . . well. . . I'm almost sure they are mine and Becky's mom and dad. "
Well! Leave it to Katie to capture an audience! We certainly did not expect that. Even the little genius was taken by surprise. Everyone started talking at once.
"Are you sure, honey? That picture was taken 35 years ago.
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"
"That's not possible! You are 37 and she is 18 How can you be siblings?"
"Well," I said, "it is possible. If they were, say, 18 when they had Victoria and me, and there is 24 years difference between Katie and us, then they would only be 42 when they had Katie. That is possible. Twins run in families, so it would make sense there, too. Katie, how old did your parents appear to you to be when you were taken away?"
"Oh, they were really old. I would say at least in their 40's. " Poor Katie, she did not even understand why Victoria and I both smacked her!
"I never noticed the yellow flecks in your eyes before," I whispered in her ear. "Very sexy!" She blushed prettily.
"I did it just for you, Daddy," She giggled. What did that mean?
"So, Dad, do we have to adopt Katie if she is your sister? Of course, we cannot tell anybody that without letting everybody know that you and Mom are perverts! And that means that after we adopt Katie, she will be both my sister and my aunt. " Amy was having way too much fun with this, practically rolling on the floor laughing. This was just the type of stuff that really appealed to her twisted sense of humor.
"Well, it's been a long day. I am going to bed. Coming with me, Auntie Katie?" Amy shrieked as Katie chased her into the bedroom.
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I smiled at Victoria. Teenagers!
"So, sister of mine, I think I have some making up to do for the other night. Want to have some kinky, perverted sex?"
"Ooh, kinky sex! Let's go. Race you to the bedroom, brother!"
As we headed to the bedroom, we heard Amy call out to us.
"Goodnight, Aunt Victoria, Uncle Patrick!" Amy giggled helplessly.
"Would you get some control over your niece," I snapped irritably to Victoria.
.
