AN ANCIENT SEXUAL REVOLUTION
By Dick Inkum
(Note: In preparing this report from ancient Mediterranean documents, we have used contemporary vulgar vernacular language where it best reflects the original text)
I am Prince Amidon, senior advisor to my brother King Machitan.
Our realm faced a crisis. We had a terrible population loss due to a disease brought by invaders. We repulsed the invaders but lost people due to the disease and the war itself. The king called a council of advisors and princes to discuss the issue and recommend action.
My youngest brother, Prince Smulk, argued that our old religion discouraged sex and hence procreation. He claimed we needed to do just the opposite; to make sex part of a religious ritual that would honor wanton copulation.
The debate was lengthy. Most agreed with the objective but the proposal was fraught with complications and misgivings. After three days of deliberation we adopted a plan. A summary of its main points follows.
Worship would be directed to the "Force of Life", represented by copulating men and women portrayed in six sexual positions.
The old proscriptive priesthood would be abolished and replaced by "enablers" who would conduct sexually active rituals.
Henceforth, all girls reaching sixteen years of age would present themselves at the temple on the appointed day in the month of their birth. An adequate number of men would copulate with them up to six times in a four hour period.