Taboo
2006-09-12
Chapter 14 Monday morning when Amy woke up (or rather, I booted her cute little butt out of bed; she would be late for school every day if it were up to her) she seemed more like her old self. She looked fresh, reasonably awake, clean (thank God!), and almost happy. I could still see sadness in her eyes; I rather thought that would be in all our eyes for a long time, but at least I did not see the desperation there. Amy, Victoria and I had breakfast together, a rare treat except lately when Victoria was in town for unpleasant reasons. Victoria told Amy she was going back to work today. She seemed worried about how Amy was going to take it. Amy smiled and had her fun.
"So, does this mean you've forgiven me for decking Daddy? You trust me to be around him alone?" She cocked an eyebrow in mock severity.
Amy's sense of humor takes a little getting used to, and Victoria is not around as often as I am. Besides, who would have expected humor out of the Wicked Bitch of the West that we had seen over the last two weeks?
"Oh, honey it's just that Daddy is special to me too and I don't want him to get hurt. I know he wouldn't defend himself. . . Oh, you! You're teasing me, aren't you?" Victoria said accusingly.
Amy giggled, a decidedly welcome sound, especially of late. "I'm sorry, Mom.
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I just couldn't resist. I get Daddy so often; I have to get you when I can. "
"Well, I was thinking of forgiving you, but because of that, I think I will hold a grudge a little longer. . . until you prove yourself, little lady!"
Amy's face fell. "Mom, I know. . . "
Victoria's face beamed. "Ha! I got you too! It's ok, Amy. I could never hold a grudge against you. Your Dad would never let me, even if I wanted to. You're his favorite, you know. " Suddenly, her face got serious as she saw the look on Amy's face and realized what she had said.
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"Oh, Amy! I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!"
Amy smiled weakly. "It's ok, Mom. She's unlikely to be someone we're ever going to forget. We have to just act normal and deal with the memories as they come. "
They hugged each other and Victoria headed for the airport.
I had been watching Amy as she bantered with her Mom, trying to get a feel for how she was feeling, and which Amy we were seeing today. Now we were alone together.
"So, how are you feeling, Amy? Really. " I asked softly.
She came over and hugged me, burying her face in my shirt.
"How am I feeling? Really? Tired. Washed out. Embarrassed. Ashamed, at what I put you guys through. Sad - I miss Cindi.
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Not as lonely as before. I think Katie is going to be a good friend. Nervous about going back to school and watching everyone dance around me, not knowing what to say. I don't even know what I want them to say. Nervous about how I am going to react. Will I blow up and become Amy the Hun again when someone gets up the courage to say something? Will it be God help the first idiot that says something stupid? Look what I did to you this weekend; you were trying to help and I didn't even mean to hit you. Am I going to become like Mom where certain things set me off? Something happened to her in her past to make her that way, you know. I know it is useful to her in her job to be able to turn it on and off, but she does not seem to be able to control it in certain situations outside of that. I think the talk with Katie helped me a lot. I don't know, Daddy. This is uncharted waters for all of us. And I haven't talked this much in a long time. My mouth is dry. "
I smiled. She was still on this kick of the 'talk with Katie'.
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The girl was desperate because of an empty place in her mind that could never be filled, and suddenly, with a six-hour talk, that fear was gone and everything was ok? Maybe in some sappy erotic internet story on SOL or something, but I didn't believe it. I had missed too many clues in the past and it had cost Amy dearly; I was not falling for this one until I was sure. Time to do some research. However, something else she said interested me more now.
"Amy, you mentioned something about your Mom's job. Why would that be useful as a computer troubleshooter?"
Amy just looked at me silently, giving me that classic Amy 'Who is this stupid two headed alien and what has he done with my Dad' look. Oh well, it was worth a try. I guess I was going to have to be more direct.
"Amy, do you know what Mom's job really is?"
Eye roll. 'How stupid do you think I am?' look. Yep. She was definitely recovering. "Of course, don't you?"
"Um. . .
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actually, no I don't. I have made some guesses, but they are just that. So, how can you know and I don't?"
"Oops. I'm sorry, Daddy, I was just kidding you when I said that. I assumed you knew or I wouldn't have teased you like that. I'm sorry. "
"So, tell me. What is it? And how do you know?"
"I'm sorry, Daddy. I can't tell you, I promised Mommy I would never tell anyone. She specifically included you in that promise. You will just have to figure it out for yourself as I did. However, you might not want to. I still feel bad about the look on her face when I told her what I knew. She really doesn't want us to know, and she really has a good reason for keeping it secret. Don't figure it out unless you're prepared to make her very sad.
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I think she's afraid if you knew, you wouldn't love her anymore. She doesn't seem to see what I can see, that that could never happen. "
Certifiable genius. What was she going to be like when she grew up and became really smart?
I took Amy to school. She seemed to be handling it well as I dropped her off and her friends surrounded her. I hoped she had a good day. She deserved some good for a change. She had had a rough couple of months. Not as rough as some people, but. . . I pushed the sadness away and headed to work.
The hospital did not receive any benefit by my finally coming into work. I spent the whole day at work on the internet looking up mental connections among twins. What I found was interesting, and scary.
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There wasn't a whole lot of hard data out there, but some interesting studies and more interesting theories and "conclusions". The first thing I found interesting was that the mental connection that Amy and Cindi had was variable in expression from case to case and was most often found in identical twins, not fraternal twins. Although all of it was rare, it was rarer in non-identical twins. It was often stronger than this case, but it was not unknown to get stronger. It was extremely rare in non-twins. Sometimes it bled over into family members. The scary thing was that often one twin did not survive the death of the other twin. We were lucky with Amy, but I did not think it was really luck. She showed the classic symptoms of those that did not survive, usually terminating in suicide or wasting away, losing the will to live. After reading the information, I felt even stronger that, somehow, Katie had saved our little girl. As I read further, it was clear to me that she did not do it by just talking to her, as Amy claimed! Not that it mattered; I knew in my heart that Katie would never cause harm to Amy; she just wanted to help. I wondered if she was getting something out of it too.
I let work early. I knew they meant well, but I just got tired of dealing with the consolation callers and visitors. I knew I would always remember Cindi, but I wanted it to be at times when I was ready to deal with it, not walking down the hall and suddenly having to go through it all again.
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I knew I would have to get used to it, but not today.
I walked in the house at the same time as Amy and Katie. Amy looked better than she had in awhile - she and Katie were laughing, joking, and having a good time. Amy did one of her favorite "get Daddy" things when she saw me behind her. She started telling Katie all about a really steamy sexual relationship she was having with this hot older guy at school, just so I could overhear. We both knew it was untrue, but she knew it made my heart go flip-flop that my little girl was growing up. She would act surprised when she saw me, and stop talking about it. Only problems were, a) she couldn't keep from giggling because she thought it was so darn funny, and b) since she knew little about the practical aspects of sex (make that nothing, I hope!) she would often describe acts that were either physically impossible for normal humans or at least were not possible by 108 lb, 18 year old teenage girls. Let her have her fun. I'll have mine when she brings her first boyfriend home.
"Hi Daddy! Katie and I are going to make you dinner tonight. Katie's staying for dinner. "
I groaned. "Can Katie cook? I've tasted your cooking!" I am not stupid. I always say things like that in the living room, because couch pillows are the most likely thing she will pick up there to throw at me.
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They hurt much less than other things. Zing! There it came.
"DAD!" She shrieked. "I'm a good cook!" She was, too.
"Yeah, and I'm Napoleon Bonaparte," I muttered. Zing! Another one.
"Sir, is it alright if I stay?" Katie asked shyly. The manners on this girl are unbelievable. I still cannot get over a shy Katie. Although she is quiet, she does not seem to be shy around anyone else.
"Absolutely not. " I stated emphatically. Amy gave me a dirty look. Zing! "Not unless you call me Patrick. You are welcome in this house anytime, Katie," I assured her.
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"It's Amy we're sick of and are trying to get to move out as soon as possible. Say! Do you want to move into her room when we get rid of her?" Zing! Ok, all the couch pillows were on the floor, I could stop now. Katie looked at me strangely, almost with a hopeful look. What was going on there?
"Forget it, Daddy. When I move out, maybe tomorrow, she is going to be my roommate. " She gave me her best 'little girl begging daddy' look.
"Can I borrow some money for rent?" Then she dissolved into giggles as Katie looked at both of us like we were nuts. Ah yes, my sweet Amy was back. Fortunately, probably thanks to Katie, we did not have pepperoni and sausage pizza with spumoni ice cream for supper.
Victoria called as we were finishing with dinner. She would be home in 20 minutes. Amy put her on speakerphone.
"Are you hungry, Mom? Katie and I cooked dinner!"
"Well, maybe if Katie helped. . .
it's not pizza is it?" she teased.
"MOM!! Not you too?!?" Amy had a huge grin on her face. One of the few people I have seen that actually likes to be teased. Katie just looked lost. Amy chattered away to her Mom, ignoring our attempts to tell her she could talk to her live in 20 minutes.
"Ok, Amy, I'm pulling up in front of the house. You can hang up now. " Amy sure loves to stretch out a joke. She continued to talk until Victoria, standing right next to her, reached over, took the phone out of her hand, and hung it up. We smiled tolerantly as Amy giggled helplessly. Katie seemed to think it was the funniest thing, too. Teenagers!
Amy decided to go to Rebecca's house later with Katie. She said it would be way too noisy around here to get any studying done, throwing looks at us. Katie looked confused, and then blushed as she realized what Amy was saying. It looked like maybe Katie was spending the night.
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She did not seem in any hurry to go home. That's ok, I like having her around. I just wondered how long my heart would go flip-flop when I caught her out of the corner of my eye and thought I saw Cindi standing there.
Victoria and I cuddled together on the couch, kissing softly and gently. I stroked her beautiful hair, and kissed her neck. God, I had missed her this time. I wanted to spend more time with her; I wanted her around more. She was my wife, my lover, my sweetheart, my soul mate. There could never be another. I had known that since the first week we had dated. I knew her job was important, both to her, and in the grand scheme of things. I knew I was probably just feeling vulnerable because of Cindi. However, I was afraid for her. I could not bear the thought of her getting hurt, or worse. I did not think "her people" could protect her as they had promised me.
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They had failed in San Francisco. They had failed at the fair. They had failed in the "car accident". A thought entered my head unbidden. Had they failed when Amy got sick? Had they failed with Cindi's accident? I did not know, but I was damn well going to find out. If I found out that Amy's sickness or Cindi's death were not accidents, those responsible would wish they were dealing with Victoria. They would find out what my eyes, dark green like Victoria's and Amy's, looked like when I let the monster loose. It would be directed against Victoria's protectors as well as her enemies if I found out they had been involved or negligent in their duties. However, I knew I could no longer let the protection of my family rest in the hands of strangers that I did not trust. I just could not leave them out there all by themselves. If "her people" could not, or would not, protect them, I would. If they got in the way, they would be sorry and I would not be responsible for what happened.
I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. Many years ago, I had walked away from something I did not think I could do anymore, something I was one of the best in the world at. I think I always knew in the back of my mind that the day would come when I could not live with that decision anymore.
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That day was now here. I could not ignore the danger my family might be in and live with myself. I was not sure I could live with myself anyway if Cindi's death turned out to be not an accident and I had not acted sooner. I was good at what I did in medicine. In the top three, or better, in the country. I was now going to go back, at least part time, at least for a while, to something I was even better at. For the best reason in the world. To protect my girls. However, this time I would make sure it did not change me into something I did not want to be.
Victoria smiled at me as I laughed aloud. I smiled at her.
"God, I love you so much!"
She smiled happily. "I love you too. What brought that on? Besides the obvious?" she grinned as she looked at my lap.
"Wait here.
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I'll be back in a little while. "
She looked confused, but folded her hands in her lap and relaxed. I ran into the bathroom, and started to fill the tub with water. I put the bubble bath in and then waited for the tub to fill with hot, almost too hot water. I ran back to her, grinning like an idiot. She was smiling, looking at me as if I had lost my mind. I took her hands, and gently pulled her to her feet. I kissed her, softly and sensually, and I heard her breath catch in her throat. Or was it mine? Ok, ours. I slowly started taking her clothes off, kissing each part of her body as it became exposed. She closed her eyes and shivered. When she was completely naked, looking like the goddess she just had to be, I stood there silently, just watching her, not moving. Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at me. She tilted her head slightly to the side, as I had seen Amy do so often, and looked at me.
"My turn?" she asked.
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I nodded, unable to speak. She slowly, sensuously removed my clothes, piece by piece. When she was done, she held my hands loosely, and looked into my eyes, unshed tears filling hers. "I love you so much," she whispered.
"Close you eyes," I murmured. I kissed her and then I reached down and picked her up in my arms.
"Patrick!" she squealed, laughing.
"Uh uh. Eyes closed. " I repeated.
I carried her into the bathroom. I lowered her into the bubble bath water.
"What are you doing?" she asked, as I took the washcloth and started to wash her. She leaned back and sighed happily, then closed her eyes again. "Amy says this doesn't work so well this way; that it works much better if you get in too.
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"
"Oh? And what else did you and Amy talk about, huh?"
"Wouldn't you like to know? Get in here, you dummy. "
"Move forward, little tub piggy. "
"Tub piggy! You should talk! Amy said there almost wasn't enough room in here for her, because of all the room taken up by a certain body part of a certain person that shall remain nameless!" she giggled.
Ok, that was more information than I needed! I hurried up and got in the tub, blushing furiously, before I got embarrassed even further. Victoria laughed delightedly at me.
"You are just too funny!" she got out between giggles.
She leaned back against me, closed her eyes, and relaxed. I gently started washing her body. She was just so beautiful it took my breath away. I paid special attention to her breasts, to make sure they were clean. Then I put the washcloth aside, and paid extra special attention to another very special area with my fingers. She must have really liked that, because after a few minutes, she cried out softly, her whole body tensed up and then she shook all over, whimpering softly. She shivered, and pushed against my hand.
"Please. I can't take anymore.
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"
I continued to touch her softly, and after a few moments she cried out "Oh, God, not again?" She trembled all over and then collapsed against me. I stroked the inside of her thigh softly.
When she started to breath again, I lifted her up, slid underneath her, and set her down, inserting myself slowly all the way up inside her in one smooth motion. I felt her tremble all over, as I softly rubbed her stomach, making love to her slowly.
"What are you doing to me?" she whispered, her voice shaking.
"Showing you how much I love you. Victoria, you are my life. I would do anything for you," I whispered, as we climaxed together.
We lay there for a long time, enjoying the glow. Then we heard the front door open and close, sweet little teenage voices chattering back and forth, giggling and laughing almost continuously. We grinned, knowing we were about to gross out our young daughter again.
Amy and Katie walked into the bathroom, looking for us. I don't know what they expected to find — it was a bathroom, after all — but they stopped dead in their tracks. They both blushed all the way down to their toes. Amy did not screech and run away this time.
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They both looked at us tenderly.
"God, Mom and Dad, that is just about the hottest, sexiest thing I have ever seen!" Amy blurted out and then they turned around silently, and went to Amy's room. We heard the door close softly.
Later, we all sat down to watch one of the girl's sappy romantic movies. Amy and Katie were cuddled up on either side of me, and Victoria sat on may lap, snuggling. Amy, for once, did not say a word about our making out. She told me later that we just had a glow about us that she could not bear to mess up. I saw her and Katie look sideways at us a few times, smiling.
Later, as we went to bed, Amy gave me an especially long hug, and a tender kiss. Katie looked at me longingly. I held out my arms, and she flew into them eagerly, blushing furiously. What was it about this sexy little girl, rumored to be so experienced, that she blushed around me so often?
Later, Victoria and I lay in bed talking quietly. As happens so often between the two of us, she brought up the very subject I had been thinking about.
"Honey, I think we should do something special for Katie. She saved Amy.
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I know we can't ever repay her for what she did, but I think we should show her how much we care, how much we appreciate her and what she did for us. " Victoria looked at me, eyebrows raised, waiting for my answer.
"I was actually thinking the same thing. I just didn't want to mention it; I didn't want you to think I was just trying to get into her panties!" I teased. "I thought about buying her a car, but she can't drive yet and I wanted something more immediate. I thought about paying for her college tuition, but that is a long way off too. What do you think she would really like?"
"Well," Victoria mused, biting her lower lip (she looks just as cute as Amy does when she does that!), "I think you have already hit on the right idea; you just mentioned it. "
"The car? College? But they're so impersonal and far away. "
"No, silly. The other idea you had.
Why don't you get into her panties?"
"VICTORIA!!"
She giggled like a teenager. Sounded just like Amy when she teases me.
"You are so much fun! Actually, I'm serious. You do know she is madly in love with you, don't you?"
"Oh, come on! She can't be! She's 13; I'm 37. That's ridiculous!"
"Since when does age have anything to do with it? All the girls know it.
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Ask Amy. Why do you think you two end up in a room together alone so often? They think it's "cute" and clear out to give you two some time alone together. It's not as if you're not attracted to her. I've seen the way you look at her when you think I'm not watching!"
"You're crazy!" I exclaimed. "She's a very pretty girl, cute as all get out and sweet as they come. But. . . "
"But she reminds you so much of Cindi it almost makes you cry. And I know how much you loved her. " Victoria interrupted.
"I could never do that to you, Victoria. " My heart pounded in my chest. "Don't you love me anymore? Are you tired of me?" I whispered, shaken.
Victoria gasped.
"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry! I should have known you would misunderstand me that way. You should know better than that, especially after tonight. I'm not talking about undying love, or marriage, or replacing what we have. Look, we want to do something special for Katie, something she wants more than anything else. The poor girl is hurting, honey, and her life is shit. Her words, not mine. The best thing in her life right now is her friendship with Amy. It's the only thing that keeps her from wallowing in despair and depression. There is only one thing she really wants in this world, and that is for you to make love to her. She knows she can't have you; she knows she could never take you away from me, and she wouldn't do that to me anyway. I love her and she loves me. If that is what she wants more than anything in the world, I would be more than willing to share her when I am out of town. I know you get lonely, and you don't have Cindi anymore. Give her what she wants. God knows she deserves some happiness for a change.
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Honey, I am not threatened by a 18 year old girl. Hell, if Cindi didn't interfere with our love, no one could.
"Victoria. . . "
"I'm not giving you permission to have sex with anyone you want," she interrupted me again. "I'm giving you permission, encouraging you, to give one very special girl that we both love like our own daughter, now even more than ever, a very special gift that would mean the world to her. Who knows, maybe you can reach inside that shell and help her deal with the demons she has in there. I know from Cindi how good you are at that. Just promise me you'll think about it, ok?" She reached over and kissed me.
"Can I talk now?"
"Sure," she laughed. "Unless I think of something else to interrupt you about!"
"Sweetheart, you are amazing. Do you have any idea how much I love you, even though you scare the hell out of me sometimes? I never knew you were so kinky! What is going to happen if you regret doing this? Or get jealous? What if you really don't mean this, and I do it, and you hate me for it because I was supposed to know you wanted me to say no? What would happen if Amy found out? She would hate me forever for cheating on you; at least the incredibly short time forever would be before she killed me. Maybe you have forgotten that punch, but I haven't!"
Victoria laughed happily. She was really enjoying this!
"You are just so precious! We both know I don't play those games, setting you up for a test to see how you will perform.
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If I was not prepared to offer her this, I wouldn't have brought it up. I would have no need to bring it up unless I was serious and sure about it; you never would have thought about it. I know you would have never tried anything with her; she would have to drag you kicking and screaming to bed like Cindi did. If I regret it or get jealous, which I won't if you don't start ignoring me, we just stop it right there. Katie would know nothing like this was permanent or irrevocable. She just wants a little bit of happiness for a while, and you are the only one she trusts. As for Amy finding out, you might be more surprised about that than you think. She clears out of the room to leave you two alone too, you know. Please, honey, just tell me you'll think about it. It's your decision. "
"Ok. I can see I'm not going to get any sleep tonight if I don't shut up and give in. Some of us have to work tomorrow. I will think about it, Ok. Just for you.
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And, just for the record, I did not kick when Cindi dragged me to bed. Screamed, yes, but I did not kick!"
She squealed in delight, and kissed me. Then she straddled me and took me up inside of her. All the while she rode me she whispered in my ear. Telling me how cute and sexy Katie's body would look. Telling me how pretty she was. Describing in great detail all the things Katie would do to me. All the things I could do to her. Telling me how soft, smooth and firm her cute little body would feel. Laughing softly and merrily at how hard I was, and how fast I came up inside her. We fell asleep with her on top of me. I slept all night long, dreaming of Cindi and Katie. I dreamed that Cindi told me it was ok; make poor Katie as happy as I had made her. She helped me to make love to her the first time, showed me what she would like and showed me how to make her happy. After Katie fell asleep in the dream, stretched out happily next to me, purring like a little kitten in her sleep, Cindi told me she loved me ever so much, that she would never stop loving me.
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She put a beautiful red rose on my chest, closed my eyes gently with her fingers, and gently helped me to go to sleep. It was the most wonderful dream I had ever had. I knew even in the dream that I was just dreaming, but it felt so real.
When I woke up in the morning, Victoria was already gone. As I lay there, slowly waking up, lying on my back, I saw a beautiful red rose, lying on my chest. I wondered why Victoria had left me a rose, and where she had gotten it. She had never done that before. I later found a note telling me she had been called out of town unexpectedly this morning and that she would look forward to seeing me again. She told me she loved me more than life itself.
After I took a shower, made breakfast, kicked Amy and Katie's cute little butts out of bed (we had convinced Katie, after much argument from Victoria, Amy and me that she could stay in Cindi's room whenever she stayed over) and got them off to school, I figured I might as well get started with what I had to do.
I picked up the phone, and dialed a long distance number. I then got another dial tone. I dialed a second long distance number. I got a dial tone again. Finally, I dialed a third long distance number.
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The line seemed to go dead for about five seconds. I now had a secure, untraceable line. Then the phone was picked up, and a female voice said "yes?"
"Do you recognize my voice?" I asked.
There was a brief hesitation. "Yes, sir!" she said softly.
"I would like to speak to Captain Jensen, please," I asked politely.
A brief hesitation again. "Yes, sir! Please hold on and I will connect you, sir!"
Ten seconds later, the phone was answered again.
"Captain Jensen speaking. How may I help you?"
"Do you recognize my voice?" I asked again.
There was a slight note of surprise in his voice. "Yes, sir, I do. "
"My authorization code is Alpha Tango seven three four six X-ray. Please repeat that back to me," I requested.
"Yes, sir.
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Alpha Tango seven three four six X-ray, verified, sir. My authorization code is Delta four seven three Charley. Please repeat that back to me, sir. "
"Your authorization code is Delta four seven three Charley," I repeated.
"What can I do for you, sir?"
"Please activate plans G and K, effective immediately, for numbers 1, 2, 3 and 5. Attach codes P and T to those plans, please," I continued.
I heard a slight intake of breath. He answered in a quiet tone of voice.
"Yes, sir. Activate plans G and K effective immediately, for subjects 1, 2, 3, and 5. Attach codes P and T. Am I to understand that number 4 is not to be involved, sir?"
"Number 4 is no longer active, Captain. "
"I understand, sir. I am sorry to hear that, sir. You understand that I need you to repeat this back to me to verify, sir.
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"
"I understand, Captain. Activate plans G and K, effective immediately, for subjects 1, 2, 3, and 5. Attach codes P and T," I repeated.
"Thank you, sir. What intensity are you requesting, sir?" he asked.
"Intensity code M, Captain. "
"Are you sure, sir?" He blurted out, without thinking.
I smiled. "Yes, Captain, I am quite sure. "
"I'm sorry, sir, of course you are sure, sir. Intensity code M, sir. What response codes are you requesting, sir?"
"Response codes E and I, Captain," I answered.
"Yes, sir. Response codes E and I, sir. This request will be activated in about ten minutes, and will be fully active in twelve hours, sir.
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It will remain active until terminated by you personally, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"
"Thank you, Captain. That will be all for now. "
"Thank you, sir. Please contact us if we can be of further assistance, sir. And sir. . . Welcome back, sir! It is good to hear from you again, sir!
"Thank you, Captain," I said, and hung up the phone.
I sat in the chair, thinking. I had done what I could to make my family as safe as possible. I would have to notify "Victoria's people" of the change in protection. If they got in our way, that was their tough luck, but I did not want them ignorantly stumbling into something. Now it was time to start finding out if someone had been messing with my babies. God help them if they had, because no one else would be able to.
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.
