Taboo
2006-06-23
Chapter 4
It was a Tuesday when I had my talk with Cindi and she and Amy had their big hug fest. Victoria came home very late Wednesday night, actually in the wee hours of Thursday morning, so I did not have a chance to talk to her until Thursday night. I made some excuse to send Amy over to Rebecca's house Thursday night; as far as I knew, she knew nothing about all of this and I was trying to shield her from it all. I was hoping she bought the excuse - yeah, right. The girl is a certifiable genius. I knew it was likely I was the only one that was fooled.
I told Victoria what had happened, omitting the information about the movie. We called Cindi into the room, and Victoria talked to her about what had happened. Although Victoria has always been very calm and laid back at all times, I was a little surprised at how calmly she took all of this. Then she turned to look at me during the conversation, and I saw her eyes, and I got goose bumps all over - I was scared. Before I started my career in the medical profession, I had been trained and worked as a law enforcement officer in a very specialized branch of work that received some very specialized training. I do not scare easily. Victoria normally has very expressive eyes. When she smiles, she lights up the whole room, and when she is just acting normal, without smiling, her eyes only light up half the room. When she looked at me, her eyes were flat and devoid of all expression. I had seen that look in her eyes once before, a year earlier, when three men had tried to hurt Amy.
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I will never forget that look, nor what she did to those men while I removed Amy to safety and before I could get back to help. The thought suddenly popped into my head that I was sure glad I was not one of those boys
I had figured we would go to the police on Friday, but Victoria announced that she had to be out of town Friday and the weekend. I am ashamed to say that was one of the few times I have ever been really irritated with her. I asked her couldn't someone else do it and was even crass enough to imply that her family ought to be more important than anything else is. She looked like I had slapped her in the face, and then looked at me with big sad eyes.
"Don't you think I want to be there for Cindi"? She looked like she was going to cry and Victoria never cries. My heart melted; I loved this woman so much, how could I even think of implying what I did?
"I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean that, I don't know why I said it. Please forgive me; I know you love the girls as much as I do. I'm sorry - it has just been a very trying last couple of days". The smile she gave me was forgiveness enough.
The other reason I had been so short with her was that I had to be out of town for my job for the weekend. I really did not want Cindi to be alone over the weekend. She seemed the sanest of all of us, though, and just announced that she and Amy would stay at their grandparents for the weekend. She insisted it was ok - after all, she had been alone for two weeks anyway because she was avoiding or fighting with everyone. It would not hurt her to be with her grandparents for two days
When Amy came home a little while later from Rebecca's house, she walked in, and as she walked by me, she asked in a quiet voice that no one else could hear "Did you get it all straightened out"? Damn! Like I said, certifiable genius.
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I do not know why I even try to fool her. She never did ask what it was all about, though.
Victoria was not getting back into town until very late Monday night. Since I was getting back Sunday, I told her parents to drop the kids off at the house about two hours before I got back, as they had a scheduling conflict for those two hours.
When I walked into the house Sunday afternoon, I knew immediately that something was wrong. Cindi was locked in her room, crying, and Amy was almost beside herself, as close to panic as I had ever seen her. When I asked her what was wrong, she had trouble speaking coherently, but finally managed to say that Cindi had read something in the paper, ran into her room crying, and refused to open the door. I told Amy to go to her room and wait there for me until I called her. She rolled her eyes at me as if I was just the biggest dork in the world, stamped her foot in frustration and stomped into her room. Amy does not get upset often, but when she does, she makes sure you know all about it. And when she gives you that eye roll, you feel about 2 inches tall. . .
I finally got Cindi to open the door, and sat down next to her on the bed. She immediately hugged me tightly.
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"Cindi, honey, what's wrong? Amy is almost out of her mind with worry".
"It's them, Daddy". And she handed me the paper. The front-page story was of a SUV with three teenage boys in it traveling at a high rate of speed that ran off the road late Saturday night on a deserted stretch of highway. All three boys were killed instantly. I recognized the pictures of all three from the movie I had seen, although I did not let on that I knew who they were. The paper mentioned that the investigation was still ongoing, as there was some suspicion that their car might have been forced off the road. I felt chills go up and down my body. After that look in Victoria's eyes on Thursday night, and the sudden unscheduled trip out of town, I sincerely hoped that the sudden thought I had was not true.
Things seemed to return pretty much to normal over the next two weeks. Cindi and Amy were best friends again, Cindi seemed much happier, although she had occasional moody periods, and Victoria was back to out of town much of the time. Like I said, back to normal. I have never been able to figure out how all of us can love her so much, and the whole family gets along so well and functions so well, when she is seldom around. Just shows how truly special she is.
There was one thing that occurred during those two weeks, however, that was a change that ended up being very significant, although I did not realize its significance until later.
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Monday night, we all went to bed as usual. Victoria was not getting into town until late Monday night. About two hours after I went to sleep, I suddenly woke up. Something was different. Then I realized that someone was in bed with me, snuggled up. At first, I thought Victoria had gotten home early, but I realized that was probably not it, as she always wakes me up. Usually in a very delightful way. We usually stay in bed for the first day or two she is home, making up for lost time. The girls walk around the house going "EWWWW!" and making gagging noises, but they really think it's "cute" and usually keep us in food until we rejoin the living. They do blush a lot, and seem to forget how to talk when they bring the food into the room, though. They are so pretty when they blush! I also realized that it was too small to be Victoria, so I figured it was Amy. She has always been terrified of thunderstorms, and jumps in bed with us every time we have one. However, I had not heard any thunder. Then I realized it was Cindi. I was on my back, and she was snuggled up close, with her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest, sound asleep.
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I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead and she smiled in her sleep. Poor little thing. When Victoria got home, she found us asleep together, in the same position. I started to move Cindi back into her own bed, but Victoria said let her stay, she feels safe, and besides, it looked so darned cute. In the morning, before the alarms went off, I woke her up (quite a feat in itself - these girls HATE to get up in the morning), kicked her out of bed, swatted her butt and told her to hit the shower. She looked at me with this fake hurt look, but she giggled on the way to the shower.
The same thing happened the next night, too. And every night during the next two weeks. Cindi would go to bed in her own bed, and then sneak into my room after I was asleep. On the days when Victoria was home, she would crawl in between us and cuddle up to one or the other of us. For some reason, it was important to me to get her out of my bed before Amy woke up. I do not know if it was because I was afraid Amy would be jealous, or if I was just uncomfortable with the situation, knowing my reaction when I saw the movie.
It did not bother me that Cindi was in the bed - it just bothered me that Amy would know.
The fourth night it happened, Amy got up to go to the bathroom before the alarms went off and saw me booting Cindi out of bed. I must have looked embarrassed and must have stumbled around trying to explain, because Amy gave me one of her famous eye rolls and said, "Geez, Dad, chill out will you? It's not like I don't know Cindi's been sleeping with you every night".
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Then she got an impish little smile on her face.
"There isn't something going on between the two of you that I should know about, is there"? She whispered theatrically.
"AMY! That isn't funny!" I said as she practically rolled on the floor laughing - SHE sure thought it was funny! "You are just too easy," she choked out between laughs.
"Cindi's just been going through a hard time lately and needs some extra love and attention", I explained.
"Oh. You mean because of the rape?" She was serious now, whispering.
I swear, my heart stopped beating. Certifiable genius. God I love her!
"How did you know about that"? I gasped, panic setting in.
Eye roll. "Geez, Dad, I'm not stupid. I heard about it at school. "
Dad. That meant I was being a dork again. Now I was really panicking.
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"Oh, God, Amy, we have to stop that from getting around! We cannot let Cindi hear about it! She'll just die if she finds out people know"
Then I got scared again. Amy gave me a cold little smile, and her eyes had that same flat, expressionless look as Victoria's had last Thursday when she found out about the rape. Where did my sweet little baby with the sweet smile and twinkling, expressive eyes go?
"Don't worry, Daddy, I took care of it. No one will ever mention it again".
"Amy. . . what. . . did you do?"
Her eyes were back to normal, and she had that cute, impish little grin again.
"Remember Robert, the football player that you think it is so cute that he has a crush on me? Well, he really has a crush on Cindi - he just hangs around me because he is too shy to talk to Cindi and that way he can be around her. I haven't told Cindi yet just because I think it is so funny to watch the two of them dance around each other. God, my sister can be such a dork sometimes. When I heard the rumor about the rape, I told him.
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I have never seen somebody so mad before. He only had to break one nose before he knew that there was only one copy of the movie, it had disappeared, and only one guy, besides the three involved, the one whose nose he broke, had seen it. He has assured me that no one will ever mention it again," she giggled.
"Amy, Cindi must never know there was a movie. " I said. Then I realized what I had said. Oops. No question about what movie, no surprise. Smart. Damn. Maybe she would miss it.
Certifiable genius. Her eyes widened briefly, and then she looked at me for a couple of seconds. Then she got a sad look on her face.
"How was the movie? It was hard for you to watch it, wasn't it? So, did you run those guys off the road, or was it Mommy?" she asked quietly.
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Something in my face must have told her something, as she reached up, put her arms around me in a big hug and kissed my cheek. Then she walked away. I was desperately hoping she would never figure out the other reason I was upset about watching it. In addition, I knew I had not run those kids off the road. I wish I could be sure Victoria had nothing to do with it. I was worried, though. I already knew from experience you do not mess with her babies.
One night, about two weeks after Cindi had started to sneak in bed with me, I was sound asleep, having a wonderful dream. Victoria had come home early, and was in bed with me, playing with me. She was very passionately kissing me, rubbing my chest with one hand, and had her other hand inside my underwear, softly, gently rubbing my cock and balls. As I slowly began to wake up, I began to realize that this was not a dream. Victoria really had come home early, and was really playing with me. I was thrilled! I reached out my hand to rub her breast, and suddenly felt cold all over. Victoria has small breasts, but not that small. Her body was not that small either.
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Trying not to panic and scar somebody for life about sex, I slowly opened my eyes and looked into the nervous, tentative smile of my daughter Cindi.
.
