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2004-12-04

Sitting in my lonely room my tears they try to run
I don’t know if I am anymore will he come back?
What have I done, what have I done.
This is me. I’m no fake
trying to make the best of a bad situation gone worse.
You gave me chance after chance but I can’t
be someone I am not.
This what I am and I can never change
and you were but only one of my many.
My heart and soul can’t feel the same things as you
so let my nights and my days be mine.
We shall be meeting again soon.
But make of me what you will
Ill still be yours but not only yours
For we can’t own another
but what we make of life
throughout the day or into the night
is truly a dreamer’s paradise.

   “Come one he won’t have to know”. “But he will find out some how” “It’s only one drink” “It will be at Pats place, plenty of people around, come on it is one drink then Ill take you home, no funny stuff I promise”. ‘Just one drink and then home I go, right”? “Right”

   “Oh god yes, yes, ooh, fuck me, fuck me harder, harder”. She says as performs a slow fuck in her wanting pussy. He knew she would cave as soon as she had a few drinks in her. He heard she was a slut but she was different. She was like a prostitute that didn’t have the want for money just cock.

   She, wakes from a sound sleep to the ring of her cell.

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    It is her boyfriend Jimmy. ‘Hey lover good morning”. She says as he tells her of his itinerary for the day. Now she knows how to plan out her day.

   Jessica, a regular small town girl that every boy wanted made a bad mistake at one time in her life. She got pregnant by a man that took her to Vegas when she was fifteen. She was dazzled by the glamour of the whole Vegas thing.

               Afraid to tell her parents that a thirty year old man got their baby pregnant she ran. If she could get back to Vegas she just knew she could make loads of money and raise the baby herself. To most it would be the coward’s way out but to her it was the only place she knew that made her happy.

   She runs into the night as fast and far as she could. She takes with her a few things that she loved and what ever money she could find around her house.

   Walking down the dark highway in pitch black a car heading west slows down and pulls over. “Hey, need a ride? I won’t bite get in”. The man said to her as she jadedly accepted.

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He made some small talk but she gave short answers. He drove her almost through the night then pulled into a rest stop and laid back. She just sat their staring straight ahead. He turns to her and tells her to put her head on his shoulder and get some sleep. She says she is fine although she needed sleep too. He reaches over and grabs her head and pulls it closer to his lap. She knew if she wanted a ride she had better at least do that much for him. She put her head on his shoulder and they both fell asleep.

While asleep he takes his hand and starts feeling her tits under her shirt. Gently tickling her nipples she wakes up with a smile. Her hand makes its way over to his cock and they both played for a while. She turns to him and says she feels weird. He unbuttons her top and squeezed her tits hard and he can tell she loves his huge hands all over her. She takes her shorts off and moves her panties over for him to get one, two then three fingers inside her. She humps his hand as she jerks him off.

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    He is ready to fuck her and she wants him to very much.

   They get out and jump into the back seat and waist no time fucking each others brains out. She is young and inexperienced. He doesn’t care as long as his cock gets wet. She doesn’t care she just wants to feel a hard cock inside of her.

   “She slips out of his car when he is asleep. She once again slips into the night and heads west to Vegas. Hungry and tired she slips into a gas station to wash up. As she walks out the attendant is sitting in a chair outside waiting for a customer. They are few and far between. She really looks good in her now sweaty see through top, and short ripped jeans.

    As she passes him she gets a quick look at his sandwich. He gives in and asks if she is hungry. Of course she tells him no at first but he can tell and rips off a piece and hands it to her. She takes the seat next to him and in seconds the sandwich is gone.

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He looks at her and asks her if she felt better and she smiles.

He stands up and takes her hand and brings her to the back. He starts taking off his pants and she looks confused. He tells her that he deserved more then thanks for the food and she just drops to her knees and starts sucking him off. His dick grew to a size she wasn’t used to. She wasn’t scared and accepted the challenge. Every inch she took she worked on for a while and then took more until this whole cock was in her mouth. He tells her he is ready to cum and she goes into auto pilot. Fast and furious she goes at it like a pro. He explodes in her mouth and shot down her throat. Her lips close tightly and cleaned up well. Now they both were pleased as she walks away. The attendant looks on as she disappeared into the dusty desert.

She sees the Twinkling of the lights ahead. It is night fall now and Vegas opened her eyes and with renewed vigor she walks faster.

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    Her goal was reached. She made it.

   Reaching down she takes off her left shoe and pulls five dollars out of her thousand dollar stash. She walks into a diner where she orders eggs and toast. She grabs an old newspaper from the counter and starts reading the want ads and for a place to stay.

   She sees an ad for a one bedroom flat on the outskirts of town. She finishes her breakfast and heads that way. All the walking is making her look hotter then ever and all the sleepless nights is making her look older then she should. She rings the bell of the office across from the rental property she was to look at and a old woman answers.

    After paying her deposit she opens the door to her new home and takes a look around. It wasn’t a bad place. It was more for honeymooners or quickies. It has mirrored ceilings and a big bed. It also has a few dildos left in the drawers and a few bottles and half of a bottle of scotch in the fridge.

   She takes herself a beer and flops onto the bed.

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    She will finally get a great night’s long deserved sleep. She closes her eyes and it seems the room next door is taken by a honeymoon couple and the room on the other side of her is taking by the local hooker.

   The screaming and orgasmic noises kept her awake. She gets up to grab another beer and lays back down again. Now buzzing from the beers and a few shots she starts listening to the noisy neighbors more. With a smile on her face she starts fingering herself fantasizing she was the one in the other rooms.

   At some point she if feeling so good she starts fucking the empty bottle of beer and her sounds of pleasure blends nicely with the others in the adjoining rooms. Pumping harder on the bottle she bits her pillow as she screams “YES”   She is done and falls fast asleep.

   Daylight peeps through the ripped shade and she awakens. Getting an early start on her career hunting she heads for her first interview. She walks in fresh and alive with a renewed excitement. The boss takes one look at her and can tell she is underage. Job interview after job interview yielded the same results. She was running out of money fast and getting scared and worried.

   Today is her birthday and she turned seventeen.

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    She is working as a cocktail waitress at a bar nearby her house. The owner was a sleaze bag and didn’t care who or what she was as long as she wore the skimpy outfit he provided she was welcome. She brought home about a hundred a week which paid the rent. She made a few dollars in tips but barely bought rice and if she was lucky meat to go with it.

   One night lying in bed she got severe pains in her stomach. She loses the baby. She struggles to the rental office and bangs on the door and is rushed to the hospital. She spends the night there but sneaks out at three in the morning. She knows she has to find another place to stay so she gathers her things and leaves.

   She heard about this place that she could stay for cheep. She moves in and it is even better then the other place. Once she heard the fuck cries she knew she was there to stay.

   She heads out and buys a few quarts of beer and lays in her bed drinking and listening to the new sounds of pleasure. Just then she hears her door knob turn and her door springs open. A drunken man walks in and asks how much.

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    She is confused and asks him for what? He explains what he wanted and held out a hundred dollar bill. She took it and got on her hands and knees as requested and he climbs on the bed and moves in closer. He starts ass fucking her hard and ferociously. It hurt but she did take the money and knew she had to endure the pain.

   The man leaves as fast as he came and she locks the door. She holds the hundred dollar bill up to the light and thinks how easy it was for her to make that. She falls asleep and dreams of a new start.

   She uses fifty of her hundred to open a bank account and with the other fifty she bought some sexy outfits and booze. A knock comes at her door and she asks who it was. It was the guy from the room next door to hers. She opens the door and the guy looks at her.

She was trying on the new outfits and the guy thought she was a hooker. He told her that it was his territory and she couldn’t use the room to hook. She tells him her story and where she worked and he knew she looked families. He apologizes to her and they get to talking.

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   Somehow they get on the subject of the noises coming from all the rooms. She has put away three or four beers and a few tequilas and she was buzzing big time. She tells him the noises didn’t bother her. She tells him she rather likes the noises. His fast talking has her in the bedroom and he talks to her as she sucks his cock. He grabs her head and helps her as he tells her about what he does and how she could profit from his way of life. She takes his offer and they seal the deal with a all night fuck.

  Now we go back to the present time. She left the life of hooking and gets a job in a office. She meets a man and soon after they get married. He has no idea about her past and she wasn’t about to tell him.

   Married almost three years now he leaves for work as usual and she now knows how to plan her day. Now twenty seven and leading a straight new life she heads out the door to her job. Jimmy her now husband works long hours and his job takes him away for a few days at a time. Her boss keeps asking her to go out for drinks but she is reluctant.

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    He is all over her every day but she knows she can’t and keeps telling him that. After months of wearing her down she finally goes out with him. Plying her with drinks they both end up in a dark corner fucking in the back seat of his town car as we all knew they would.

   All the memories came back as they fucked. She started reliving the hooker life as well as the money she enjoyed. She also remembered how great it felt with a cock inside her. She needed it and it has been a while since she felt this way again. She was wear she belonged. She now plans her life around Jimmies absences. She builds up a nice clientele and had a day apartment for just fulfilling her sexual desires. It was plan and simple. She was addicted to sex and needed it all the time but soon all the time wasn’t enough. She needed even more.

   She started hanging is what she called “Bad Boy Bars”. She was invited to orgies where a lot of guys fucked her.

    She sucked them all and fucked as often as they wanted her too. She was getting bored of that fast. She didn’t know what else to do. The thrill was as important to her as the cock but the thrill was gone.

   Jimmy hadn’t a clue what she was or had become.

Now I lay me down nice and tucked
I pray for a man which I can fuck.
My hidden desire is to sneak out into the night.
Rape me fuck me make me right.
Fill my hole again, make me whole again.

   She went to a shrink a few times and told him the truth as she knew it to be. He told her it was a substitute for something else. He explained things to her that blew her mind and then she blew his buy fucking the shit out of him as we all knew she would.

   He told her to keep a journal and re read it over and over again. He told her it would help her realize things and fix a few things. She did it and it helped a little.

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   She started an on line journal. Not realizing others were reading it too she went on with her business at hand. It kept her busy and away from the torrid sex life she was used to.

   She started receiving email. She was embarrassed that others were reading it too. Reading about her sexual affairs and other weird things she was doing but the letters telling her how it made the male readers feel made her pleased, in fact it was her newest thrill. She liked the fact that she can make hundreds even thousands masturbate to her stories. This was her new thrill.

   I know you are reading this now and I know how at least once or twice I made you cum.   There is nothing I can hide from you now. I just know it makes you feel again and I did that. Did you know that sometimes as I write these stories I am using a dildo on myself in between paragraphs? Well now you do. As I fuck myself with my dildo I pretend it is you reading my life stories and my hand is wrapped around your now stiff cock. Go ahead. Hold it feel it tickle that little thing that feels the best.

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    You know that little lump of skin right under the head of your cock that feel real nice. Come on read me baby I am holding you now and we can cum together.

     Ok this isn’t making you want to right now and I understand that. But what if I told you about the time when I was younger and a man came to me and beeged me to jerk him off. Yes I was afraid to do it but he talked me into it. The first time it felt weird.

   I have a better idea. I am fingering my pussy with my long nails. I love the way I tickle my clit with my red nails. Now what is every time I make a typo you have to pull your cock just five times and I will use a dildo in and out of my pussy fime times oops there I go again. Lets do it. Ok lats hope I do that again. Oops . oh god a few more times like that an\d we will be cumming for sure. Oh god just keep doing that.