Incest
2005-03-23

Month six

 

One night, during family night, we all had dinner and watched a movie in the family room. I was able to really enjoy it now that my first semester was finally over. We decided I would not go back to school until after the baby was born and I was settled. Mom and dad were on the big couch while I was on the loveseat. We were actually watching a slightly old comedy called Joe Dirt. It was one of those movies that was funny because it was so stupid!

 

They were over on their couch teasing each other, making fun, laughing, joking, and tickling each other. It was actually kinda sickening to watch. They were like teenagers. They were like that a lot. It sometimes made me wonder about him and me. He was clearly very happy with his marriage to mom. I don’t always understand where I fit in regarding our ‘sexual’ relationship.

 

When the movie ended mom got up. “Okay. I need to straighten up this mess before we go to bed. I made some pudding.

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   It’s in the fridge. Why don’t you get some and go away so I can clean. ”

 

“Are you saying we get in your way?”

 

“Yep. Bye. ”

 

Daddy faked a look of heartbreak and slowly walked into the kitchen with his head down. Mom just rolled her eyes and began picking up the loose popcorn on the floor. I followed daddy as he was filling up a cup with chocolate pudding.

 

“What’s your poison?”

 

“I’ll take the vanilla. ” I grabbed the cup he had waiting for me and began filling it up. The bowl was cold.

 

“Want to eat it out on the back pouch? It’s nice out. ”

 

“Sure honey. I’ll put this back in the refrigerator and meet you out there. ”

 

I headed back through the family room. Mom was turning off the DVD player and I opened the door leading outside.

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   I leaned against the rail, stirring the creamy goop and looked out across the long back yard. Dad came out a few minutes later, laughing at some insult mom had given him and settled beside me against the rail, chuckling quietly. Must have been funny as hell.    

 

“You love mom, don’t you?”

 

“Undeniably. She’s my life. I don’t think I could exist without your mother. ”

 

I simply stared at him. He had such a content look on his face. A happiness, a radiance that was so pure and so strong. I found myself whispering, softly, ever so softly. I was almost afraid that my words could freeze the very air around us, turning it to hard glass that would shatter, causing our world to fall apart, cutting us to pieces in the process. I have a flair for drama sometimes, but I had to know.

 

“Then, why me?” I asked, ever so softly.

 

He froze and I flinched slightly, expecting, waiting…

 

Then as if someone flipped a switch he resumed swirling his pudding, looking into it deeply as if the answer was somehow hidden inside of it. He didn’t say anything for a long while, but I knew he would answer.

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   I knew he was thinking. He probably never bothered to ask himself why, preferring not to dwell on it, to bring forth guilt.

 

After several minutes and several spoonfuls of pudding he spoke. “I don’t know. It certainly wasn’t planned, at least not at first. It was completely unexpected. It was…the wonder…the magic of you…” He looked at me then and I saw in his eyes the awe, the love, the joy, the…pain.

 

“I never had seen a little girl. I never knew the wonder, the beauty of seeing a little girl slowly blossom and become the exquisiteness of a woman. I watched you grow and develop into what you were meant to be — a woman, a beautiful, desirable woman made for one primary purpose. ”

 

I slowly began to understand. Kind of. As he has told it, my father didn’t have a typical childhood. He was raised primarily by men. His mother died giving birth to his sister.

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   Jessie was going to be his first female sibling, but she died too. Grandma and grandpa had seven boys in all, including my father. My father was the youngest of the children. They all lived in the same house, on a farm, believe it or not. All he knew was men. His brothers and father shaped his world. Eventually some of his brothers married and moved away and started their own families, but once they moved he rarely saw them or his cousins, female and male alike. He did see girls, and interacted with them, but not very much.

 

He saw them at school, but at school you studied. The only time you socialized was at recess. He didn’t really understand girls. They were strange to him and being raised by men, my father was actually a very rough type of individual. You know the type — the jock and the sexist. One thing about my father though, he was very smart. Very smart.

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   He liked to learn and any and every bit of knowledge he gained he kept. As a result he received a full academic scholarship to NYU in New York, far away from his little hometown in Kansas. He went there and studied medicine.

 

It was that move that changed daddy. Up until college, and really most of it, women had no place in his world, other than for one purpose—sex. And when it came to sex he’ll be the first to admit he loved women then. Sexually wise, a woman was and is flawless. But, during that time that was the only value he credited them for. That is until he continued his medical education. There were women beside him — few, but there — who were also pursuing careers in medicine, all at various levels and all that required a fair amount of intelligence.

He began to see women in a whole new light, particularly after meeting one in particular whom he considered to be the most brilliant neurologist in existence — Mrs. Pamela Goldstein. Being the smart man that he was, he began to realize he was a sexist and his viewpoints of women were wrong, so he changed. Well, somewhat. There still are some things that come out of his mouth that makes even my mother want to smack him, but for the most part he’s a decent guy.

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So I guess what my father was saying was: having a little girl, seeing one ‘develop’ for the first time intrigued him?

 

He laughed. “Yes. Intrigue is one word for it and surprisingly I found myself,” he sighed, “aroused by it. I never saw or experienced anything like it. Oh, I know how it happens. I’ve treated women of all ages at hospitals but I never saw it up close and personal on a day to day basis with a girl — woman — that I already loved. So I found myself sexually excited. ”

 

I put my empty cup on a table and turned to look back into the house. I could see my mother in the living room, cleaning up the mess daddy and I always seem to leave behind despite our best efforts.

 

“You knew it was wrong. ”

 

Even though I wasn’t looking directly at him I saw him move. He leaned lower on the rail, resting his weight on his elbows.

 

“Yes. ” He said it as if it were a matter of fact. No denial.

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   Simply fact. I wonder if he even felt guilty, if he ever did or had he simply learned to accept his actions.

 

“And that didn’t bother you?”

 

“Of course it did! You are my baby girl, the idea of hurting you… ”

 

“Then what? What was it that made you continue? God, Dad, have there been others? Are you a pedophile?”  I turned to him, shocked for a moment, that idea never having occurred to me before.

 

“Oh god. I…shit. ” He turned away from the yard and like me faced the house window and then he saw mom. “Oh, god!” He turned back toward the yard. “There’s only you. Only you. I never felt that way toward anyone else. It was only you. ”

 

I relaxed. I felt a little better.

 

“Because we have love. ”

 

“Yes.

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   And…”

 

“And…?”

 

“And I knew you…wanted…it. ”

 

He turned to me then, looking me full in the eyes, almost asking me to deny it, but I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t. He was right. I did want it. From the moment I was old enough to understand the looks, I wanted it. I may not have been considered old enough to know what I wanted or completely understand the urges that were coursing through my body but I did want it and I did tease him with the new power I quickly learned to master—my femininity. I liked his touches and his attentions. I craved it. I encouraged it.

 

“Yes. I did. ” There was a flash of something there — relief. Perhaps some part of him had doubts.

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“So now that I’m older — now that I’m no longer innocent and ‘developing into what I was made for’ — is it over?”

 

He looked away again, off into the night.

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   The night always seems to offer false hope that the answers we seek are hidden just beyond it. Another thought occurred. “Daddy? Is my baby safe with you?”

 

He laughed, a short, quick bitter laugh. “Yes, baby girl, your daughter will be safe with me, that I promise. The idea of reliving those experiences I had with you doesn’t even appeal to me. To be honest, I don’t think anyone could take your place, like no one could take your mother’s. The feelings I feel for you…”

 

“Damn it, stop being so damn dramatic and complete your sentences! What? What? What feelings, they what?”

 

He laughed and turned to me. “Sorry. Didn’t realize. My feelings for you, my attraction for you, is purely for you, only you. I do know that, even if the rest of it is crazy. ”

 

I smiled. I liked that. “Then why? Why haven’t you touched me in so long? You stopped right after I told you I was pregnant. You just — changed.

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He sighed again. He looked down at the slight swell in my tummy and reached out his hands. “You are so beautiful like this. Your mother was beautiful too when she was like this, but with you for some reason it’s different. It’s always been different with you. Again, you are changing, growing, become more of what you were made for — a mother. And the idea is driving me crazy, Brie. You have no fucking idea. ”

 

His hands pushed harder against my skin and moved, circling my hips, feeling their curves, down, around my ass, squeezing, molding, and pulling my body closer to his. I quickly looked back into the house. Mother was gone, probably in the kitchen. He saw my look and paused, following my lead, but seeing it all clear, he continued, he moved me to him. Our bodies touched, his hardness, and mine — my tummy, but despite that I was still soft, a soft curvy woman.

 

“Daddy? I’ve missed you. ”

 

He growled, that deep, sexy growl at the back of his throat and I felt his hardness rise up as he buried his face in my neck.

 

   I reached up and wrapped my arms around him. Pain. My pussy went straight to pain. That only happens when arousal hit me hard and fast, when my pussy becomes ready for fucking faster than the rest of my body, but it was quickly catching up. My heart began to pound, my nipples harden, my skin began to tingle and waves of desire began coursing through my body uncontrollably.

 

“I want you so bad. More than I ever thought possible. There are times when I look at you now, seeing you like this, watching the curves grow — it’s all I could do from raping you. You are so fucking sexy. My cock is constantly hard. I’m afraid sometimes it’s going to fall off cause he never rests. I need you so much. I need you so much. ”

 

He was moving against me, hard, sure, grinding, biting my neck, sucking on my skin, finding my mouth and we kissed. He kept pulling me closer, lifting me so our bodies would fit better, despite the baby.

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   I lifted my leg and wrapped it around his hip, opening myself to him. His dick found my panty-covered puss and he began rubbing, up and down, grinding against her, my pussy, making the moisture flood the fabric. Grinding, grinding, up against my clit. Oh, god, I was so horny. I was losing my damn mind. Our tongues clashed. Devouring, sucking, mating. His whole mouth surrounded mine. He invaded my moist cave with such force and desire I thought I would faint. He grabbed the hair on my head and slowly began to pull.

 

“Ah. ”

 

I reached one hand back, wrapping around his as he bent me backwards against the rail and forcibly pushed against my clit. Waves of pleasure surrounded me so intensely I was crying. He reached up and carefully unbuttoned my top, revealing my body to him.

 

“They are growing again.

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   You know that, don’t you? I’ve seen them. They are becoming fuller and they will continue to do so and they’ll become harder, and juicier, and filled with milk and when they do. I’ll be ready. I’ll be there. ”

 

“Oh Daddy, you can’t. The baby. I have to feed the baby. ”

 

“And you will. She’ll get some, but I’ll have the rest. She’ll have formula too; I’ll buy the best. Don’t worry. Your baby will be taken care of, but this…”

 

He pushed my bra aside. My nipples tightened in the cool air. He growled some more. He grabbed on, hard.

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   I whimpered. It hurt. It hurt but…

 

“Good. Yes. The nipple, the nipple. ”

 

He cupped my breast in his hand, giving it a cone shape as he twisted my nipple. Playing it like a violin, making me produce pussy cream on demand, like a cow producing milk.

 

“Daddyyyyyyyyyyy. ” I wanted to scream, but mom — I couldn’t because of mom. I couldn’t see anything; he kept me bent back, away. I looked up at the stars in the sky and felt so small in comparison to their vastness. I felt tied into existence and the natural order of things. He was right; this was what I was made for. I felt him slowly apply his thumbnail to the tip of my nipple. Sweet agony.

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   An annoying itch I didn’t know how to scratch. God, my pussy. I was so wet, so wet my panties were a mess. I tried humping up against him, but it was no use. There was so much moisture that there was no friction, not the kind I needed and my panties just slid and he just slid, completely unstable. I needed it there at my clit.   And then the nail was gone and my nipple was pounding. It was on fire, that one nipple. My back was beginning to ache. My head hurt from the pressure of his hand. He wouldn’t let up. I gave up trying to do whatever it was I was trying to do and slid my hand down to rest on the arms holding me close. His scent surrounded me as he leaned closer. Hmmmmm. I loved his cologne.

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I jumped. Moisture. Warm, soft, slimy heat swirled around my nipple. Covering it, sucking it. Daddy. ‘Suck me, Daddy. Suck me. Suck me, Daddy…suck, suck, suck. ’ He released my hair and his right hand found my left breast, circling, engulfing it. It felt so good, that warmth. He squeezed slowly, sensually, loving my mounds with smooth solid pressure. I loved the soft sucking sounds. It drove me crazy. Reaching down, I fought against the pressure of our bodies and found my panties. I pulled them down, despite the pressure of his weight against mine.

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   I lowered my leg and let the panties fall naturally to the ground.  

 

He gripped my hips and lifted me up onto the rail, never releasing my nipple as he lashed it with his moist tongue, licking my skin, my curves, squeezing it periodically, licking against the bulges he created.

 

“Hmmmmmmmm,” he moaned. His hot breath bathed my skin.

 

“Daddy. Please. ” I was out of my ever-loving, cotton-picking mind. He released my nipple with a pop. I shuddered. It was cold — cold without his heat. I couldn’t take it. I was so close.

 

“Daddy, please,” I begged, but he just stood there, inhaling deeply, trying to breathe, squeezing my breasts over and over, like they were dough.

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He just loved the feel of their fullness in his hand.

 

“Daddddddddddyyyy,” I said in a gutteral plea.

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   I even scared myself. I began to rock, nearly falling back until he caught me. I wrapped my arms around his neck again for support. He leaned down and took my right breast in his mouth and reclaimed the wet one for his palm. His free hand lowered itself to the heat between my legs.

 

“Yesssssssssss,” I hissed.

 

He found my button, covered it with his fingers and squeezed.

 

“Uhhhhhh,” I grunted, that deep-gutted grunt that made me sound like some huge animal. My world exploded and I was left jerking uncontrollably in his arms.

 

“Uh uh uh uh uh. ”

 

My body was no longer mine. I cried. Tears flowed down my cheeks, but I was barely aware of them. I fell against his hard frame, trying to breathe, still making those strange sounds.

 

I felt him move against me.

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   Somewhere along the line he stop sucking on my tit, perhaps when I fell. He was slightly jerking himself, toward me, I felt myself slightly bouncing to his rhythm. Something was hitting me in my stomach repetitively, against the baby. Not hard, but it did make me look down. I rested my forehead on his shoulder and looked between us, still breathing kinda hard.

 

His dick. He had his dick in his hand and he was jerking off between us. His hands were stroking his cock much like in the bedroom and then I heard him bellow a hard breath, like all the air exploded from his lungs and he growled again and then. . .

 

Splat!

 

I was hit with a wave of cum shooting out of his dick in high spurts, some landing on my tits, most finding my stomach and still he stroked, less intense, but still strong. I heard him groan as if he was in slight pain. Now he was leaning on me just as much as I was leaning on him and still he pumped, even though there were only a few drops finding their way to my thigh. Then he released his cock and his dick fell on my leg, hot, moist and red.

 

He reached behind me and gripped the rail to support himself.

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   If he leaned on me anymore we both would fall over. I looked back up over his shoulder and into the house. I moved closer to him, pressing more of my body against his, forming a sort of loose hug. It was quiet now. I could hear his heartbeat. I turned my head and rested it against his shoulder, staring at nothing in particular. I was at total peace. Not a single thought had entered my head. I just absorbed his warmth.

 

After a few more minutes in each other’s arms he began to pull away. I let him. I sat up on my own and looked at him. He smiled and kissed me on the nose. I watched him readjust and tuck himself away. I sighed and began following his lead, pushing my sore breasts back into their home and buttoning my shirt.

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“Daddy?”

 

“Yes, baby?”

 

“Will you be my Lamaze coach?”

 

He smiled. He reached for my face and slowly kissed my lips. “I’d be honored. ” He helped me off the rail and picked up my panty. I tucked half of it in the waist of my skirt, under my shirt. I didn’t feel like putting it back on.

 

“You’re wet. ” I looked up and saw him staring at me. My blouse was sticking to me because of the cum and there was a small amount of cum trailing down my thigh that hadn’t dried. I reached for my thigh and began rubbing the white stuff into my skin like lotion (fastest way to get rid of it).   Then catching a particularly thick glob I paused and looked up at him. Our eyes met.

 

I looked back down and lifted my skirt. We watched as I leaned back on the rail and lifted my leg again for a better view. For the first time ever I rubbed his cum into my pussy.

 

   We watched as my pussy sucked it up, swallowing it deep. I didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant.

 

I looked back up and daddy was staring at me. He looked like he wanted to attack. Lust so intense gripped me hard and I felt the tears start again. But he didn’t touch me; instead, he moved further back. I put my leg down and we continued to stare, fighting for control. We both wanted more but knew it wouldn’t be smart. Not now. Not again.

 

“I don’t think I can anyway. ”

 

He slowly began to relax. My words gave him the strength to regain composure.

 

“I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed.

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   If I pass her and she asks, I’ll say you made me laugh and I spilled my pudding. Good thing I chose vanilla. ”

 

“Good thing. ”

 

And just like all the nights that have come before…

 

“Night, Daddy. ”

 

“Night, baby girl. ”

 

I went into the house and up to my room. Mom was nowhere in sight.

 

*****

 

 

Months seven through eleven

 

The next few months went by extremely fast. We decided to make the guestroom the baby room. Daddy bought these really expensive baby monitors so we could have a receiver in every room of the house if we needed. They were like walkie talkies. The base, or sender would always be with the baby and turns on automatically with any noise, sending the noise to all the receivers throughout the house so we could hear if she starts crying. So, if the baby cried in her room, and mom was in the kitchen and heard her, mom could pick up a receiver, press a button and we would all hear her confirm that she’d look in on Jessica.   Jessica is the name I had chosen, after daddy’s little sister.

 

I also started Lamaze classes.

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  Â  Daddy was there with me every step of the way. He was also going to be there when I gave birth. He was going to help me raise this child and he’ll probably be the only true father little Jessie will ever know. Not necessarily a bad thing. The holidays came and went. I got a lot of mother-to-be stuff, but some cool stuff, too, for when I started college again, like a new computer and palm pilot. I was happy.

 

I never did run across that cute guy who knocked me up. I guessed that he may have been a mechanic and for a while I did drive around to shops surrounding the area where we met. I even went to the little park were Jessie was conceived. Not a thing. Oh well, I doubt he would have been much help anyway.

 

When the day arrived it was actually a week earlier than predicted by Dr. Pearlmen. At the time, I was eating a tub of ice cream, which rested on the baby, when I first felt a contraction.

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   At first I didn’t know what the hell it was. I figured it was a muscle cramp from sitting in the same position for so long and it took a while before another occurred. But another did occur, as did another, and about two hours after the first contraction my water broke. Both my parents were actually at work. I paged my dad and my mom and my dad got back to me first. I told him my water broke and we started to time the contractions. Soon after mom called and it was decided that mom would come pick me up to take me to the hospital. I had time, the contractions were about 40 minutes or so apart and the hospital where they worked at and I was going to use to deliver wasn’t that far.

 

Fifteen minutes later mom was at the front door and I had my pre-packed delivery bag with me. Dad got hold of Dr. Pearlmen and she said she would meet us at the hospital. When the time came for actual delivery I was scared as hell and in so much pain. I never want to go through anything like that again. I agreed to have a natural birth, but about two hours into labor I was screaming, practically begging, for them to knock me out and cut Jessie out of me, but they didn’t and forty-five minutes later I delivered a healthy beautiful baby girl, seven-and-a-half-pounds.

 

They kept me for about a week.

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   I would have been out sooner, but daddy wanted to make sure I was okay. The most interesting thing I had to get used to with the new baby was the breast-feeding. I expected relief, because having my breasts fill up with milk three or four times a day was actually very painful, and having it taken out was longed for. What I didn’t expect was the desire I felt when that little girl latched on with strength I would have never have expected from one so tiny. By the time I was through with each session I was screaming for the chance to cum. My body was a four-alarm fire, but there was nothing I could do. I had to wait six whole weeks.

 

When I came home my family was wonderful. Daddy and mom each took a week off, first mom and then dad. It was dad who was the most interesting to have with me. Mom had all the little knowledge on baby care that they don’t tell you about in books — the stuff you just learn through trial and error — and she was very helpful and cool in that aspect, but dad… it was almost like when I was younger and he would come in my room to watch me move. He did it again. He loved watching my body. I was nearly the same size I was before I had her, except my hips were a little fuller and my breasts were a lot bigger. I went from a 36D to a 36E-F.

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   I was big before, well not really that big, more like, right for my frame, but now…I was huge. I could tell he liked it.

 

When his week came, he would make me walk around naked in the house. The most I would be allowed to wear was my panties. He would watch me move and watch my breasts move with me. Sometimes he would let me wear my nursing bra, the one where the flaps came down so you can breastfeed the baby, but he wanted the flaps down all the time, which provided me with next to no support, but I didn’t mind too much. I missed his eyes on me. At first he would just watch me feed the baby, his eyes never missing a beat. Sometimes he would ask me to sit in his lap and he would cup my breasts up at just the right angle so the baby would be comfortable as she nursed.

 

What I liked the most was the time when he held me because he would often be naked too, and I would sit on his thighs, with his cock cradled in my ass cheeks and he would rock himself back and forth in my crevice while the baby sucked on my nipples and he sucked on my neck. I was in a constant state of arousal during h.